


I pull up to the front of your driveway with magic soaking my spine

by summerfolk



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 13:24:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 42,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2026713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerfolk/pseuds/summerfolk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><div class="center">
  <p>This story is about Frank learning to be a father and Gerard learning to be a hero.<br/>And it's about them learning to love.</p>
</div>
            </blockquote>





	I pull up to the front of your driveway with magic soaking my spine

**Author's Note:**

> Special thank you to my beta **Onthehill** \- without you this fic would never exist. Thank you so much! It's been a pleasure working with you.  
>  Thank you to all BBB mods for making this all happening. It's so great to be a part of this event
> 
>  **truthismusic** created such an amazing art for this story. It's perfect. I am so honored to have it with this fic. Thank you!  
>  You can find the artwork  [here](http://truthismusic.dreamwidth.org/1817.html). Please check it out  
> 
> 
> The beautiful banner bellow is also her work
> 
>   
> 

**Disclaimer** : this story is a complete lie from the first to the last word and none of this ever happened. I borrowed the title from the killers’ song, and the name Macondo wasn't made up by me either. I took it from 100 years of solitude written some decades ago by G.G. Marques but all analogies end by this point.

 

 

 

**08/22/13**

Frank thought his life would turn upside down the day he brought Andy home. In fact, only a few things had changed, and it had to be Mikey to point them out to Frank.  
"You gave up smoking," Mikey is sitting in front of Andy's baby chair and playing with her little fingers. She’s been laughing since the guy stepped inside Frank’s house, and Frank feels a little jealous.  
He sighs, "I miss that a little." On the other hand, all women love Mikey, and it's Frank's chance to be just a little bit cranky. "But that's just habit talking." He never really quit smoking completely, but he cut it down to one or two cigarettes a day, and his lungs felt a lot better. He hasn't been sick for seven months, and that could be his personal record.  
"What about your social life?" Mikey turns around to look at Frank.  
Frank cracks up, rubbing his chin against his knees. He is sitting on the couch across from Mikey and Andy with his legs drawn to his chest. "One has to have a social life to lose in the first place," he snuggles closer to the pillow and yawns. "I lost any interest in social life a few years before I got my princess here." He winks at Andy, and she beams happily in response.  
Mikey turns back to Andy and hands her a pair of toy drumsticks which she loves the most of all her toys. "Okay," he pokes the girl in her soft belly and waits until she hits his hand with the stick and makes a triumphant squeak, then stands up from the floor and brushes some crumbs from his knees. "But there's still one thing you do differently." He sits on the couch next to Frank and gives him “the look.” Frank hates that look, because Mikey only gives it to him when he doesn't approve of Frank's new compositions.  
Frank wrinkles his nose. "Really? You don't like my new songs?" He really hates himself for that hopeful tone in his voice, but he also knows Mikey won't buy it.  
“I’ve definitely heard these songs before.” It is mesmerizing to watch Mikey’s face, the way the lines shift as he is thinking over each word. "It seems like you've rewritten your old songs so it's more understandable for a child. Like, it's gentler and without rough edges."  
Frank shrugs. "Someone has to teach this child good music. It'd better be me before I realize her favorite singer is mister Tinkerlake.”  
Mikey snorts and turns to Andy. "She would never do that to her old man. Right, Andy?"  
She lets out something between "Taaa" and "Naaaa," and resumes her exercises with sticks.  
"You have a really nice girl here," Mikey smiles with his rare genuine smile and pats Frank's foot.  
"Yeah," Frank feels his throat tighten, "my mom’s always grumbling about me not deserving such a laid back kid since I’ve been a handful for almost my whole life.”  
"Has she ever been sick?" Mikey's cell phone buzzes inside his pocket and he fishes it out.  
"A couple of times," Frank remembers how he freaked out when he realized she had a fever and spent the next week sitting beside her crib watching her small chest rise and fall. "But the summer's about to end, and I have no idea how she’s gonna take all this cold and wind."  
"You'll be fine," Mikey types in a text and sends it. In a second, he gets a reply and has to type again.  
"Who are you talking to?" Frank doesn't mean it to sound like an accusation, really.  
Mikey purses his lips. "It's Gee. He's been chasing me for almost a month. I’d really missed him and I don't mind spending time with him but that's just disturbing. He should be hanging out with his old friends."  
"Gerard? He's back?" Frank can’t suppress a grin. He remembers the times when he was fifteen or so. Gee was the one who helped him dye his hair in their basement. They had so much fun together. And alcohol. And probably weed.  
Frank brushes a hand through his short hair instinctively. He liked having longer hair, but everyday bathing, changing diapers, washing and being on your knees didn't leave him much choice. He tried to grow a beard but he looked manlier and young guys and girls, in their early twenties, maybe, started hitting on him in the grocery stores.  
"Yeah, he got back last month, and is still living in my apartment," Mikey scratches his nose. "He totally has to start meeting other people."  
"Maybe he doesn't wanna," Frank suddenly feels the urge to defend him.  
Mikey snorts. "It's not like everybody has to willingly shut themselves at home. He doesn't even..." He trails off and studies Frank intently.  
Frank feels like he's been passing some sort of a test inside Mikey's head, but he has no idea if he wants to know the results. "Anyway," Mikey stands up and steps forward to kiss Andy, "I've gotta go. I'm taking Joshua to my mom's tonight."  
"Thanks," Frank stands up too, "for coming. And kiss Joshua for me and say hi to Mrs. Way."  
"I will," Mikey heads to the front door slowly. "Isn't it your daddy vacation day tomorrow?"  
"It is," Frank scratches the back of his head. "I'm spending the morning in the studio though.” Mikey rolls his eyes, nodding. "But, you know, you could come over in the afternoon.”  
"Or," Mikey prompts, "we could hang out outside your apartment. Somewhere with people."  
Frank laughs. "Sure. Why not?"  
"Awesome," Mikey says monotonously. "I'll call Ray, see if he could come. And maybe Gee too."  
"How long had he been away? Five? Ten years?"  
"Nine, since he left to work in Tokyo, six since we last saw him.” They are slowly walking to the front door. Once there, Mikey snatches his jacket from the hanger and pulls it on, his movements seem a bit rougher than necessary.  
"Has he become a Bushido follower?" Mikey looks at Frank with clear confusion in his eyes, so he tries to explain. "He went to Japan, right? I'm sorry, I couldn't have thought of anything less cliché."  
Mikey makes a dismissive gesture. "He’d spent a couple of years in Japan before he signed up for a new project about superheroes that came from the Amazon jungle. They could, like, turn into wild animals or something.” He opens the door and steps outside.  
Frank eyes go wide. "And he went there to explore the actual place? That must have been a hell of an experience for him! Did he like it there?" Frank stands in the porch to see Mikey go.  
"Ask yourself when you meet him," Mikey walks to his car and gets inside with a small wave to Frank.

*****

When Frank filed his adoption application form a few years ago, there was only one condition: he had to choose between work and a child. He spent months trying to convince the authorities that he was able to spend almost every day and night with the baby and not lose his regular income. He was lucky enough to run his own record label and could afford to be home most of the time.  
His family supported him and made sure he didn’t feel left on his own. His mom promised to help out and take Andy at her place once in a while so Frank could have a good rest. She also supplied him with frozen lasagnas and soups, and he didn’t have to think about his own not very friendly diet.  
It was a good plan, and Frank was more than happy to turn his life in that direction; however, Andy had a few surprises for him.  
When he brought her home, she was two months old, and the first couple of weeks were really stressful. He just didn't know what to expect from her, and she had no idea what was going on.  
But two weeks passed by, and they got into a routine. She slept almost five hours during the night, and that was more than enough for Frank to sleep too. The rest of the time they ate, bathed, sang, and walked around the house. There were nap times during the daytime when Frank could work and even feel bored.  
Then he decided he could have conference calls with his colleagues and business partners. That was the time when he became more stressed and agitated, and Andy didn’t take any of this. She started crying at nights, and Frank grew more and more tired. Eventually, he returned to his usual e-mail only working style and paid a visit to the studio once a week, usually on Friday when his mom had a day off and was glad to spend some time with her granddaughter.  
Since then everything went back to the old rhythm, and Frank didn't regret his decision to entrust the label to his friends and colleagues Brian and James, especially when the vaccinations and pediatrician check ins became a weekly routine, and they were finally allowed to add swimming pool exercises to Andy’s prescribed physical therapy.  
Frank was assigned to a psychotherapist by their inspector from the Social Care center, but even though he knew she was meant to know what was better for everyone, he couldn’t disagree with her more. He didn’t need any additional support. He was happy with what he had. He did miss a good friend sometimes, but it wasn't like he'd lost them. Ray and Mikey were there for him whenever he called, and they managed to meet at least once every month or two.  
He had to see the shrink from time to time, because it was a part of the adoption agreement, since Andy’s case wasn’t the easiest one, but he tried to avoid any topics that didn’t seem relevant to his relationship with Andy, and the doctor didn’t push.  
That was how things were, and there was nothing in his life Frank was willing to change.

*****

**08/23/13**

Linda takes Andy to the zoo the next day, so Frank decides he can postpone the cleaning until later. He grabs a stack of new demos which was delivered this morning and heads to the studio when his phone starts ringing.  
The ringtone says nothing to Frank, because he doesn’t remember setting the _‘Friday I’m in love_ ’ to anybody’s number. During the last few months he had arranged his social life to be clear and predictable. Each phone call was supposed to come from people he knew or was ready to meet. Andy’s doctors, social workers, delivery services, the office, his mom – all the contacts had special ringtones and the appropriate music, so Frank knew what to expect right away.  
While he makes his way to the laundry room where he’s forgotten his phone, he remembers Dewees setting the still playing melody as his default ringtone, which means that someone he doesn’t know is trying to call him. His heart clenches. His mom left with Andy less than ten minutes ago, and if something happened…  
He runs to the phone and digs it out from a pile of baby clothes, the phone jumping in his trembling hands. He manages to read the name of the intruder. Luckily for the both of them, he is in Frank's contacts list.  
“What the fuck, Mikey?” Mikey never calls. He texts, tweets, even leaves voice messages. He never calls. That’s why Frank never bothered with his ringtone.  
“ _Is everything all right?_ ” Mikey asks cautiously.  
Frank lets out a nervous laugh. “I just,” he rubs his forehead. “I freaked out. You need a personal ringtone.”  
Mikey huffs. “ _Do you have something in mind?_ ”  
“Yeah. You’ll get Ozzy for your creepiness.” Frank goes down the hall for his secret stash of cigarettes. Then he pads to the back door and sits on the floor in the terrace shoving a cigarette in his mouth and lighting it. The first drag is strong and dizzying, and he knows he won’t need the second one for a while. “Why are you calling?”  
Mikey hums. “ _It’s Friday._ ”  
“I know,” Frank says remembering the song and letting a smile crawl up his face.  
“ _Well, I thought you would remember,_ ” Mikey mumbles. “ _You promised me we’d go out_.”  
Frank frowns. “Were we talking about this Friday?” He can see Mikey shrug at the other end of the line.  
“ _Why would I plan a meeting with you more than a week in advance?_ ” He clears his throat and continues more insistently. “ _Actually, that’s why I’m calling you. You won’t dodge this time. You owe me._ ”  
“Um,” Frank looks around the back yard for a good excuse to stay at home. “My lawn needs cutting.”  
“ _Andy is too young for crawling around it. You’ll cut it another time._ ” Mikey’s voice sounds suspiciously threatening.  
Frank wrinkles his nose. “So no escape, huh?”  
“ _Exactly,”_ Mikey says with a satisfied sigh. “ _Don’t worry,_ ” he adds when Frank whines, “ _it’s going to be only me and Dewees._ ”  
“Then why don’t you two come over my place? I have new demos to work on,” although Frank had to try, somehow he already knows the answer.  
“ _You have to get out,_ ” and, after a pause, he adds, “ _you freaking out at the unexpected phone call is really disturbing._ ”  
Frank chews on his lips. “I know.”  
“ _Meet us at Wave at seven?_ ” It isn’t a question. Not really.  
“Sure,” Frank chuckles. “But you’re totally getting the Ozzy ringtone.”  
“ _Whatever,_ ” Mikey hangs up.

*****

The Wave is a new name of an old club where Frank, Mikey, Ray, and some of their friends usually hang out. The owners have been changing for the last couple of years with a disturbing frequency, but as long as the music is listenable and the drinks aren't too bad, Frank is fine with it. He doesn't have to go there too often anyway.  
He decides to take a cab because it is already dark outside and he hates driving during the night.  
Mikey shakes his head disapprovingly when he sees Frank.  
"Do you have some other shoes?" He clucks. "And I'm sure you had this hoodie on last time I dropped by."  
Frank sniffs under his armpit and shrugs. "It's the least smelly." Then his eyes drop down to his white sneakers. They don't look quite right with his baggy grey jeans. "Who cares anyway?"  
"Leave him alone, Mikey," there is Dewees with a bottle of beer for Frank and open arms welcoming him in a hug. "I'm so glad you made it out of your nest," he pats Frank's back.  
"Me too, James." Frank takes a deep breath. He misses his friends and their hugs.  
"So," Mikey starts when they settle at the counter, Frank in the middle. "For how long are you going to lock yourself inside your house?"  
Frank shrugs, taking a slow gulp. "I didn't lock myself. I guess I'm just too tired to go out."  
"Do you need any help?" Dewees asks. "We're doing great at the studio. You don't have to show up each Friday if you're busy," he takes a swig at his beer and studies Frank briefly. "By the way, you do look a little tired. Is Andy okay?"  
Frank blinks and scratches his cheek. "She is, yeah." He winces, "I just, I think I'm still a little worried about her." He sticks his palm out at Mikey when he opens his mouth to say something. "I do talk to the therapist about it." He looks at his hands and tunes his voice down to a whisper. "It just takes time."  
Mikey gives him a crooked smile. "You're doing just fine."  
Frank nods, not meeting his eyes.  
"Hey," James says, tugging at Frank's sleeve a little. "There's going to be a great show in a month at Bob's. A few local bands and a couple from Philly. Do you wanna come? Maybe you'll find new talents."  
Frank takes another deep breath. "Why not? I haven't heard live performances for a while."  
"Great!" Dewees digs out his phone and types in something.  
"What are you doing?" Frank asks with a raised eyebrow.  
Dewees hides his phone inside the pocket of his jeans. "Just telling one of my friends you'd be there. His new band, The Wedding Gig, is going to play then. He's looking forward to meeting you."  
Frank rolls his eyes. "So now I have to be there, don’t I?"  
"Come on, it's going to be fun!" Dewees cheers with a slap on his shoulder.  
"There you are!" There is Ray's voice just behind Frank's back.  
Frank's face lights up and he turns around for another hug. "Ray!" Instead of meeting Ray behind him, he crushes into a smaller man with a bright red hair. "Oops," Frank's face lands on a guy's chest and he breathes in the stranger's scent. It smells vaguely familiar and good, and Frank lingers there just a second longer, feeling strong arms wrap themselves around his middle and holding him gently. "I'm sorry," Frank leans back, trying to keep his balance on the chair.  
The guy chuckles but doesn't let go of Frank yet. "Hello, Frankie," the stranger says.  
Frank opens his eyes wide and blinks a few times. "Gee?"  
The redheaded man chuckles again and lets go of Frank's waist, looking at Ray standing right next to him.  
"I didn't recognize him at first too," Ray points a thumb at Gerard's head. "Nice to see you, Frankie." Ray leans forward to give Frank a light hug. "How's Andy?"  
Frank can't take his eyes off of Gerard, but he has to force his head to turn to Ray. "She's fine," he smiles remembering that morning when he held her by her arms and she touched the floor with her tiny feet. She looked so happy and excited tapping her feet against the wood.  
"Where have you two been?" Mikey's voice brings Frank’s attention back from his memories.  
"Gerard showed me his work. The jungle issues of Umbrella are something out of this world," Ray says in awe; then he turns to look at Gerard. "Just like their creator."  
Gerard shoves him gently, his cheeks turning slightly pink. "Come on, I'm still me."  
Ray puts his arm around Gerard's shoulder and draws him in a tight hug. "As much as I would like to stay, I promised my wife I’d take her to the theater tonight."  
"Who goes to theaters nowadays?" Dewees asks, bewildered.  
"Hey," Ray protests, raising his index finger in the air. "The theater never gets old!"  
"Yeah, besides, we have to go too, James," Mikey gives Dewees a one-side glance.  
"You what?" Frank asks watching Mikey and Dewees leave their seats and hug Gerard by turn.  
"I know what you're doing, Mikey," Gerard says to his brother.  
"No, you don’t," Mikey whispers softly. "Bye, Frankie. I'll see you around."  
"Don't forget about the show," Dewees waves goodbye.  
"Have a nice evening you two," Ray prompts with a warm smile.  
"Bastards!" Frank mutters half-heartedly. Then he turns to Gerard. "Do you too need to be somewhere else?"  
Gerard shrugs and scratches the back of his head. "I guess it was a setup. I'm sorry. Mikey did tell me I had to start meeting people, but I didn't think he would act on his words."  
Frank waves his hand. "He told me the same about myself," he calls for the bartender. "Can I buy you a drink?"  
Gerard fidgets. "Just coke please, but you go ahead," he points at Franks empty bottle of beer.  
Frank orders himself another bottle and a coke for Gerard. He is still standing next to him. "Do you want to sit down, maybe?"  
"Sure," Gerard climbs onto the chair next to Frank and sips his drink slowly. "So," he clears his throat. "How long has it been since we saw each other?"  
Frank frowns, "A decade, maybe? It's hard to tell. I remember you leaving all the time. First to college, then to work in New York City, Tokyo and then..." Frank shakes his head, "Mikey told me you've spent last few years in the Amazon jungle."  
Gerard rubs his face shyly, it looks adorable to Frank. "I have, it's true," he laughs, as if memories showed up in front of his eyes. "Those six years were some of my favorites. But I'm glad the project is over. It's good to be home."  
Frank nods. "I never left Jersey. And although it would be good to see the world, I don't think I could leave for a long time. My heart lives here." He sighs. "Maybe, sometime later, when Andy is old enough to travel."  
Gerard's eyes go wide, but he quickly gains his composure. "How old exactly is she?" He asks cautiously.  
Frank thinks he understands his confusion and lets out a belly laugh. "She's four months old." When Gerard's face becomes absolutely blank, Frank shakes his head. "Hasn't Mikey told you? I adopted her two months ago. I mean, alone."  
Gerard gapes at him for a few minutes. "Oh," he says. "Oh," he says again, louder this time, and rubs his cheek. "Cool." And then, after a pause of hesitating, he lights up. "How does it feel? I mean, do you like being a father?"  
Frank thinks about his answer. "As much as being a musician. Sometimes even more," he takes a sip of his beer. "I mean, I spent years asking for permission to raise a child alone before they agreed to give me a chance. And me being a bisexual musician with a body covered in ink didn't help at all. But it was worth all the effort; every word I said to the social workers then, I’m ready to repeat them again and again. I was ready, and it was exactly what I wanted. It still is.”  
Gerard shakes his head. "You're unbelievable. But in a good way," he slides a little closer to Frank and squints at his face. "Now I see where those panda eyes come from."  
Frank rubs under his eyes self-consciously. "I'm okay. It's a good thing I own Skeleton Crew and can choose my own work schedule.”  
Gerard nods. "After I started writing the Umbrella Academy on my own, I realized how good it was to, you know, follow your own rules. As much as I enjoy working with other people and how much better they make my work, I still like to close myself in a room, put on some music and just," he waved his hand in the air, "do things."  
"Oh, man, you have no idea how much I miss those times when I was so busy with the studio and different projects so I had to wake up early in the morning, which is still nonsense for me, and make something of my own. I just couldn't sleep; the music in my head woke me up at dawn."  
Gerard points a finger at him. "I know! I became an early riser because of that too," he scratches his hand absent-mindedly. "The funny thing was when a few years ago they told me that I didn't have to do anything else but my own series, I lost all my inspiration in a couple of weeks. I even got depressed because of it. That's why I asked to be a part of the Amazon project."  
Frank beams. "And that's when your characters from the Umbrella Academy went to uh…Where did they go?”  
Gerard hides his eyes. “To Macondo. My company arranged a camp for a few writers there. I was supposed to make panels for our web series about were-superheroes, but I couldn't help myself and I had to send my own characters from the Umbrella there too."  
“Because you can’t not write about what you see every day,” Frank says softly.  
Gerard nods. “It was just another world that I couldn’t imagine. It was so much brighter and full of life.”  
Frank thinks Gerard’s mind has gone somewhere far away. "So, you write comics for a living now, but I’ve always thought your true passion was painting."  
Gerard shakes his head as if clearing his thoughts. "I am good at making scenarios, and I know that. But when I paint something with all my heart, I think that's when I'm really making a difference. It just has to be happening when I’m busy with something else entirely."  
"Why do you think it's like that?" Frank asks thoughtfully. "Why do we have to steal time from something we can do very well to make something we love passionately? What's the trick?"  
Gerard bares his teeth in a crooked smile. "I don't think it's a trick. Maybe it's our wisdom."  
They talk for an hour more, and Frank completely forgets about time.  
“I have to go,” he says apologetically.  
“Sure, do you need a ride home?” Gerard slides from his chair and searches for a car key in his pockets.  
“If that’s not an inconvenience for you,” Frank stands up too.  
Gerard smiles at him sincerely. “Of course it’s not, Frankie. I’d love to talk to you a little bit more.”  
Frank realizes that he feels the same. “Maybe we could do this again, if you’re staying in town for a while.”  
“I think I am.” Gerard lets Frank walk ahead and puts a hand on his back when Frank walks past him.

*****

**08/30/13**

Frank is sitting on his couch, enjoying the minute of peace and serenity. The latest issue of the Umbrella Academy sits on the coffee table and reflects a chink of sunlight peeking through the tiny gap in the curtains and makes Frank squint.  
He hasn't heard from Gerard since their first meeting although Frank himself put his number in Gerard’s address book in his phone. Why would Gerard call anyway? He is a talented published gorgeous looking author; why should he waste his time on someone as boring as Frank? But Gerard looked sincerely interested when they talked at the Wave. Maybe he was just laughing at Frank.  
He frowned. When did he become so suspicious? But what if he is right and it all had been a huge joke?  
His cell phone rings ' _Friday I'm in love_ ' again. Frank doesn't flinch this time, but takes the phone cautiously.  
"Hello?" Frank asks. His mind is still processing his recent revelations about how cruel the world can be.  
" _Hey, Frankie, it's Gerard,_ " It's Gerard. Right. Now Gerard needs a ringtone. But Frank understands why it felt so real and like a gulp of fresh air just being around this guy. The man's voice is rich with emotions, and it sounds warm and like he really cares about everything in this world.  
"Hi, Gee. How's it going?" It still doesn't mean that Gerard can't pretend.  
" _I uh, I'm great, I actually wanted to call you, like, a week ago, but I was afraid you'd be busy or I could wake you or Andy, so I decided to wait until it's Friday again_ ". He pauses, and Frank opens his mouth to say that he knows how to use the silent mode, but Gerard beats him to it. " _I just wanted to know if you'd like to meet for coffee next Friday._ "  
Right. Like, in a week. "Um," Frank tries to calculate what day it would be. "Isn't it Mikey's Birthday next Friday?"  
There is a long silence. Frank hears Gerard fidgeting and turning pages somewhere. " _It's not, but it's a close shot,_ " Gerard sounds like he's surprised to learn that Mikey's birthday is actually not a long time away.  
"You didn't forget about it, did you?" It's a rude question to ask, but Mikey is Frank's friend. And Gerard's brother.  
" _I kinda did,_ ” Gerard snorts nervously. " _Thanks, for the reminder._ "  
Frank winces. "So, coffee? Next Friday?"  
" _Yeah! I spotted a Starbucks not far from your place. Is it okay for you?_ " Gerard doesn't sound as enthusiastic anymore.  
"Sure. Maybe around four?" Frank has absolutely no idea if he's going to be available at the hour though.  
" _Yeah,"_ Gerard is completely lost for further conversation. " _See you then, Frankie._ "  
"By the way," Frank hurries before Gerard hangs up. "I've read your comic books. They’re absolutely amazing."  
There is a pause, and Frank doesn't know if he should have said that.  
" _Thank you,_ " Gerard says softly. " _It's...yeah, I uh...Thanks, Frank. I'm glad you found it interesting. See you soon_." And he hangs up.  
Frank's forehead starts to hurt from frowning. He shakes his head and gets up from the couch. The only effective way to stop thinking over the conversation is work. Thankfully, he's got more than enough of it for the rest of the day.

*****

**09/06/13**

Gerard calls around noon and makes sure Frank hasn’t changed his plans. That sets Frank into an optimistic mood because he doesn’t have to worry that Gerard forgot about their arrangement. Instead, he spends the day contemplating the topic of their next conversation. Gerard impressed him as a very involved listener, so Frank decides to share his idea of a surprise birthday party for Mikey that he’s going to throw at Skeleton’s next Friday.  
By the time he is supposed to meet Gerard, he is only leaving the house and trots to his car, and he’s glad that he didn’t try to convince Gerard to meet at another coffee shop which he liked a little bit more but which was fifteen minutes of driving away from the neighborhood.  
When he parks in front of the building, Gerard is already standing there, talking to someone on the phone. He hangs up when he sees Frank.  
“Hey, Frank. Nice to see you! How was your day?” He reaches his hand to Frank and it’s very warm and soft to the touch.  
“Thanks,” Frank can’t take his eyes away from Gerard’s red hair again; he starts thinking it has hypnotic powers. “I hope you haven’t been waiting for too long.”  
Gerard looks confused. “No, not long at all. I uh, I’ve been talking to an artist. I’m looking for one for my next project. It’s… About cats.”  
Frank smiles. “Wild ones? Which live in the Amazon jungle?”  
Gerard waves his hand dismissively. “Nah, I think I’m pretty much done with the jungle theme. It’s more like an urban story. But the idea is still very vague, and usually I don’t like to engage external parties at this early stage of the new project but,” Gerard sighs, “my publisher thinks I shouldn’t wait too long until my fame with the Umbrella series wears off completely.”  
Frank nods. “That’s how things work today. People don’t hear from you long enough, you’ve gotta start over from the top again.”  
Gerard shrugs and points to the entrance of the coffee shop. “When I started working with an independent publisher, I thought that this side of business would change.”  
Frank shakes his head. “I own an independent record label. Believe me, it changes nothing. Apart from the fact that you reach the limit faster.”  
They walk to the counter and order their coffee. Frank doesn’t know the barista, and he’s glad he doesn’t have to make small talk this time.  
“But it gives you more freedom instead,” Gerard continues their conversation when they take their seats at the booth. He takes a sip of his coffee and makes a sound of complete satisfaction.  
Frank takes his own cup and raises it in the air like a cheer. He's still thinking over Gerard’s last comment and barely hears Gerard as he keeps talking.  
“You do know what freedom I’m talking about, do you?” When Frank looks up at him, he narrows his eyes. “I know you do. Otherwise you wouldn’t have started your own company and just went on working as a session musician somewhere in the City.”  
Frank drops his eyes to the coffee cup, concentrating on the pattern decorating it. “Of course I do. Everything I do is about that freedom. Or at least I think so. Sometimes I just forget about it and that’s when I start thinking that it’s all the same.”  
“But it’s not. I have those moments too. I feel like I’m stuck.” Gerard barks out a loud laugh. “Damn it, I feel stuck right now. I have this weird idea but I don’t know anything about where I’m supposed to take it. Like, there is no guiding light. And I can’t work without it.”  
Frank looks at Gerard sympathetically. “That must be tough.”  
“You have no idea. That’s why I’m looking for an artist. I need someone to nudge me in the direction I’m supposed to go but careful enough not to scare me away,” Gerard plays with the rim of the cup. “Besides, it’s been ages since I drew something. I feel like I’m dead.”  
“You’re not dead, Gerard. Look at you, your eyes, your voice, everything about you is bursting with life!” Frank stops his train of arguments to think about the appropriateness of his words but doesn’t get a chance because Gerard’s face is as red as his hair and he shakes his head violently.  
“It’s just because I’ve spent a lot of time away from civilization. Give me a couple of months, and I’ll be as normal as anyone else.”  
“I doubt it, but okay,” Frank rubs his eyes. Some random thoughts are popping up in his mind.  
“Maybe you should go home and get some sleep?” Gerard suggests with concern in his voice.  
“No, I just remembered I need to take Andy to the swimming pool on Sunday. I always look tired when I think,” Frank takes a big gulp of coffee and burns his mouth.  
“Have you decided to make a champion out of her and not waste your time before she’s at least four?” Gerard shifts closer to Frank, and Frank is glad because he can lower his voice down a little.  
“Actually, it’s a part of her rehabilitation program.” Frank rakes a hand through his soft hair and watches Gerard's facial expressions. They change as he thinks over his next line. He looks a lot like Mikey at this moment, but his lines are deeper and it takes him longer to switch between emotions.  
"Oh, uh..." Gerard scratches his nose and puts his hands on the tabletop, palms down. "I don't mean to pry or anything-"  
"It's okay," Frank interrupts him, "it's maybe nothing, really," Frank takes a deep breath. Gerard watches him patiently. "She might have a light form of cerebral palsy, because she'd suffered the lack of oxygen for some time before she was born."  
Gerard blinks, which seems like a nod, and Frank feels the urge to go on. "Her parents died in a car crash right in front of the ER doors the day she was supposed to be born. She survived, but doctors said there were some signs of a possible disability, and they wanted to monitor her."  
"Did you know the parents?" Gerard asks quietly.  
Frank shakes his head. "No, it was an accident, actually. She was supposed to be put up for an adoption only after she takes the course of physiotherapy. I just saw her in the child care center and couldn't leave her there. It took me one more month to sort out the formalities and a stack of papers where I promised I knew what I was doing before they let me take her home. I didn't mind if she needed some extra care. Besides, now our doctors say that there is a good chance she's going to be as healthy as any other child at her age.”  
Gerard is silent for a while. "I don't know what to say, Frankie."  
Frank shrugs. "You don't have to."  
Gerard shakes his head. "But, it's," he rubs his face and smiles. "It makes me like you even more. That's a lot to take but the way you talk about it," he waves his hand in the air, "it's a stupid thing to say, but it makes me proud," he looks Frank in the eyes and chews on his lips.  
Frank blushes and looks down on the table, his insides warming up as he tries to understand why this man's words sound somewhat different from those which he'd already heard.  
And he realizes why. All his friends and relatives were proud of him too, but at first each one of them said that it'd been a huge responsibility and that Frank had to be ready to seriously change his life. Only then did they mention how happy they were for him.  
Gerard seems to be looking at the brightest side first and he doesn't wait to say so.  
"Thank you," he says, swallowing a lump in his throat.  
"Would you like to grab another cup and, maybe, go outside?" Gerard suggests lightly.  
Frank brightens up. "Sure, there's a nice park just across the street."  
They take another round of coffees and head outside, casting sideways glances at each other.  
Once in the park, they find a bench in a secluded corner and sit there. Gerard fishes out a pack of cigarettes and hands one to Frank.  
They smoke in silence, drinking their coffees and watching the evening breeze pushing dry leaves around the sidewalk.  
Frank tries to start a conversation about something light and casual, but Gerard seems to enjoy the silence, so he relaxes too and just lets go.  
Suddenly, Gerard starts talking.  
"You've made me feel guilty about forgetting about Mikey's birthday."  
Frank raises an eyebrow. "Should I be sorry?"  
"No?" Gerard sort of asks, amused. "But you're the first one to point it out to me."  
Frank wrinkles his nose. "Seriously? When was the last time you called Mikey from Macondo?"  
Gerard shrugs. "I didn't call him. I just sent postcards to the whole family, like, for Christmas or Thanksgiving," he raises an index finger in the air. "But I'd totally missed a few of them."  
Frank puts his empty cup in a trash bin and turns to Gerard. "Why do you look so happy about it?"  
Gerard doesn't laugh, but makes a weird sound. "I freaked out when you asked me about Mikey, and I was surprised that you were the only person who just simply asked the question, you know. Like, it’s not a big deal but it really is. I'm not happy about the things I did wrong, but I'm happy that I acknowledge them. That means I'm not gonna do them again. There's no reason to punish yourself for your mistakes, because it takes your energy. The energy you could have spent making it up to people you've hurt unintentionally."  
"Have you at least asked Mikey's forgiveness?" Frank tries, but a voice inside his head’s telling him that Gerard doesn't really remember what that word means. The guy spent six years in the jungle, for god's sake.  
Gerard is silent for a minute, like he’s considering Frank’s question. Then he looks at him with an innocent look, like he’s testing Frank. Andy sometimes gives him that look, when she drops something on the floor while he’s not watching or spits some baby formula on her new shirt.  
“Do you think I should?” He asks. “I mean, he hasn’t said anything.” Frank shakes his head disapprovingly, and Gerard’s pulls his hair in frustration. “I don’t get it. If I want something, I say so. When I don’t like something, I say so too.”  
Frank looks at him, and all reasonable words leave him. “I don’t know, Gee. That’s why relationships are complicated.” Frank looks around and realizes it’s already dark. “I should be going. Thank you for the company.” He stands up and digs his car key from his pocket. “Look, if you’re not gonna miss his birthday this year, maybe you should come to Skeleton’s next Friday. I won’t make it to Mikey’s on Tuesday, but I’m making a party at the studio on Friday the 13th. It’ll be just a close circle of friends and maybe a couple of our bands. You’ll like them.”  
“Thank you. Is there anything I can do to help?" Gerard asks earnestly.  
“There is, as a matter of fact,” Frank smiles at him and turns to leave, Gerard is right beside him. “You can help decorate the place. Maybe draw some posters.”  
“I will!” Gerard bounces on his feet a little while they’re walking to their cars. “That’s a great idea!”  
Frank chuckles. “Drop by my place on Friday morning if you have a day off. We’ll go to the studio early and arrange everything.”  
They stop at Frank’s car and Gerard reaches his hand to shake Frank’s. “Thank you, Frankie. For everything. I’m glad we met up today.”  
Frank is tired, but there is a warm feeling in his chest that makes the tiredness lighter. “Me too,” but all he can think of is a soft bed and maybe a long shower. He rarely takes his time in a shower these days. “I hope to see you next week, and don’t forget about Tuesday.”  
Gerard shakes his head vigorously. “I won’t, I promise. I will go home, hide in my room, which is technically Mikey’s guest room, and start working on his birthday present.”  
Frank nods. “Good. I wish you as much inspiration as you can handle.”  
They say their goodbyes and drive their different ways.

*****

**09/13/13**

Gerard is standing in front of Frank's door with two cups of coffee in a carton holder. He's already knocked and is patiently waiting to be let inside.  
When the door opens, he sees Frank wearing nothing but a towel around his hips, random drops of water covering his skin. Gerard's throat runs completely dry and it takes all his willpower not to stare at the view in front of him.  
But all his efforts are in vain because Frank is too busy with last minute errands to notice anything more than Gerard's actual presence. He grabs the coffee though.  
"You've got coffee, thank god, I ran out of beans yesterday, and my next shopping day is supposed to be Monday," he takes the cups to the coffee table in the living room and waves Gerard to come in. "I'm sorry I'm running so late, we just lost Andy's drum sticks and she refused to leave the house without them." His cell phone starts ringing somewhere in another room, and Frank rushes to the kitchen to get it. Gerard hears Green Day’s Minority as a ringtone and wonders who the caller might be.  
He relaxes a bit too, because even If he was ogling Frank, he didn't notice. Gerard also realizes one important thing. Frank is too busy to even consider Gerard as someone who can be more than just a friend, but he's glad he has that at least.  
Frank pads back to the living room with his notebook, still on the phone.  
"I wrote down the temperature after the exercises, but it was normal...She looked a bit flushed but she was smiling and nothing seemed to hurt. She's with my mom now. If you want, I can take her to the center if it might be important...Okay, sure. Yeah, thank you, Penny. Bye." Frank disconnects the call and runs a hand through his hair, putting the phone and a notebook on the table.  
"Do you have to be somewhere?" Gerard asks. He already feels disappointment.  
Frank doesn't react for a few seconds, but then looks at Gerard and shakes his head. "No, we don't." He points at the phone. "It was Andy's pediatrician. We decided to change a few morning exercises, and she wanted to check how they work. She doesn't have to call me, but she's been my good friend since school, so…” he makes a helpless gesture. “We're so lucky to have her. She is one of the best doctors I've ever seen, and I know what I'm talking about."  
Gerard laughs. "I remember! You used to be sick every fall and spring."  
"Don't forget a few days in summer and winter," Frank prompts. He looks at himself and shifts his weight from foot to foot. "I'll be back in five minutes, I promise." He grabs the notebook and sprints upstairs unwrapping the towel on his way.  
Gerard sighs, watching Frank's feet disappear from view.

*****

At the studio parking lot, they are met by Brian who helps Gerard carry the posters, and the three of them go inside.  
“Where’s Dewees?” Frank asks Brian while they go to the break room to get some coffee.  
Brian rolls his eyes. “In the studio with Eddie and Rob trying to set up the microphones.”  
“Did they finish the Architects’ single?” Frank nods in the direction of a poster with one of their bands and Gerard follows his gaze.  
Brian sighs heavily. “Nope. They think there’s something wrong with the microphones.”  
Frank snorts and giggles, nudging Brian with his elbow. “I’ll talk to them. We can’t wait any longer. I’ve already promised the producer from this new indie radio station that they can be the first to play the guys’ single next week.”  
Brian takes his cup and turns to Frank. “Be my guest. But, please, do it now. Me and Gerard will start decorating the place while you finish in the studio.”  
Frank nods. “Sure. I’ll be in the control room if you need me.”  
Brian takes Gerard by the shoulder and pushes him outside. “Let’s go Gerard. The fewer distractions he has, the faster we get this fucking single done.”  
Frank wants to protest, but he’s too happy to actually care. He loves his work.  
He heads to the live room, casts a quick glance at the recording light, and pushes the door open.  
There are five men in the room. Frank actually sees only four but he knows the drummer is just hiding in his booth.  
"Well, look who's here. My best sound directors are trying to fix nonexistent flaw in the microphones while our big stars are procrastinating in the corners," Frank walks to a couple of men standing at the mics and puts his hands on their shoulders. "Guys, can I have a minute with our precious guests?"  
Eddie and Rob nod and leave the room without a word.  
When there are only four of them left, Frank clasps his hands and looks at the singer, Mark, and the guitarist, Seth. "I know this is not about the microphones. We all do. Now let's get whatever it is out of the way and record the single."  
Mark scratches the back of his head guiltily. "The manager from our former label in Kansas City called yesterday. He said we still owe them an album so whatever we do here is supposed to be theirs."  
Frank rolls his eyes. "I've already heard this threat about an album before. Why do you think they would act this time?"  
"Because our first album wasn't worth a shit. You agreed to release it only because you took pity on us. Now," Mark flaps his hands in the air, "it's completely two different bands, the sound is so great, and we have an actual fan base thanks to you."  
Frank narrows his eyes. "I don't get it. Isn't it why we signed you up in the first place?"  
There is a grunt coming from the booth, followed by a muffled voice of the drummer. "You know we're grateful for what you've done for us."  
Frank bends his head in the direction of the voice. "I do, Sunny. Why don't you come out here and join the conversation?"  
There's another grunt and in a few seconds the drummer shuffles out from the shadow of the booth. He sighs and rubs the hand bandages between his fingers. "We just don't want you to lose money because of our stupidity."  
Frank chuckles and makes his way to the door of the control room. He stops right at the door and turns around to look at the band. "Do you trust me guys?"  
All three men nod eagerly. Frank goes for a full-sized grin, but clears his throat instead. "Okay, then let me handle this shit, when it actually happens. I knew what I was getting into when you told me what label had signed you before us. If they try to pull something on any of you or on Skeleton, we will kick their asses. And I mean it. Okay?"  
The men nod again, less eager though. "But I need you to promise me something before we go on."  
"What is it?" Sunny asks.  
"If any of those shitheads contact you behind my or Brian's or James' backs, the first thing you do would be telling us, not trying to fix everything on your own." Frank pauses to let his words sink in. "Is that clear?" He asks with a tone he had to develop recently in order to get things done at the social center. He doesn't have to use it very often, but the practice is always welcome.  
This time, he feels the light wind that's been set by the nodding heads. The Architects confirm their agreement with actual words too, and after that Frank is out in the control room with Rob and Eddie, and the Architects are at their spots with the instruments.

*****

Gerard has completely forgotten how good he is at decorating. The room looks amazingly bad-ass and just like Mikey would like it. Band posters, Gerard's gory pictures, some random junk left from the previous year's Halloween celebration, dead flowers and musical instruments. Gerard helps Brian stuff the fridge with beer bottles and asks if he can shoot a few photos around the studio.  
Brian doesn't mind at all, but he excuses himself to sort something out before they close for the weekend.  
Gerard takes his camera and walks through the hall, taking pictures of different pieces of equipment and people at their workplaces.  
It's already lunchtime, and he decides to buy some food at the café around the corner. Frank said they had a great vegetarian menu.  
On his way to the control room to ask Frank if he needs anything he looks inside the break room and finds three men sitting there. Brian hasn't introduced them to Gerard, so he decides they must be the Architects. He walks in quietly and waves his hand.  
"Hey, guys, you must be the Architects." He takes one step further in the room and shrugs.  
"And you must be Gerard," the blond guy stands up from the beanbag and shakes Gerard's hand. I'm Sunny, and those," he turns to his friends still half-lying on their bags, "are Mark and Seth."  
The musicians nod at Gerard with tired smiles. Gerard nods too. "Have you guys seen Frank?"  
Sunny rubs his stomach. "We left him in the studio before we went for lunch. He must be still there. Go ahead; he's most probably mastering our single. Take him out to eat something."  
"I was just thinking about that. Thank you." Gerard leaves them alone and finds his way to the control room.  
Frank has his headphones on, and doesn't hear the door when Gerard enters. He is sitting at the board and pulling some controls up and down on the console. Two men are playing in the live room and have their headphones on too. The atmosphere makes Gerard feel that he's caught one of those rare moments when the time stops, and he’s going to remember this minute for a long time.  
Gerard’s camera is hanging by a leather strap on his shoulder, and he hurries to take a picture before the moment is gone.

*****

Mikey shows up a little after five, when the place is crowded. He knew about the party so it’s not a surprise for him, but Gerard’s drawings and his presence is, so he is taken aback for a while. Eventually, he relaxes and lets people draw him into hugs, pat his back and shoulders, and get him completely drunk.  
Frank drags Mikey outside for a breath of fresh air. He lights a cigarette and leans on the brick wall. Mikey doesn’t smoke but leans on the wall too because he can’t stand straight. “I didn’t know that’s what you call fresh air nowadays.”  
Frank snorts. “I like your company.”  
Mikey snorts back. “I like yours too.” They watch each other for a moment. “Thank you for the party. It’s very cool in there.”  
Frank nods. “You’re welcome.”  
“What did you promise Gerard to get him here?” Mikey asks falsely casual.  
Frank raises his brows. “Nothing. He was happy to come and drew all these posters.”  
“I know. I heard him working at nights when he thought I was sleeping.” Mikey laughs under his breath. “The dork. As if I could sleep while he’s muttering nonstop.”  
Frank winces. “Sorry. I should have asked him to work at the studio.”  
Mikey shrugs. “I couldn’t sleep anyway. I’m not used to him being home.”  
Frank scraps his lips with his teeth. “You must have missed him like hell.”  
Mikey turns to Frank and wrinkles his nose. “Sure. But I got over it.” He rubs his neck. “Look, Frank, I think I need to warn you about Gee. It was me who arranged your meeting, so now I feel responsible, kinda.” He sighs. “Give me that cigarette,” he reaches for Frank’s cigarette, pulls it out of his mouth, and takes a long drag. “He’s not the most reliable person in the world and also he tends to disappear for a few years and then show up like a snowstorm in the middle of June acting like this is how things are supposed to be.”  
Frank nods slowly. “Have you talked about it with him?”  
Mikey shakes his head and takes another drag. “Why? He’ll probably fly off again in a couple of months. And that’s why I’m telling you all this. Don’t let him take your heart, Frankie. He wouldn’t know what to do with it even though he’s a very good person.”  
Frank takes a deep breath and rubs his forehead. “I’m not planning to give my heart to anyone. Believe me, I’ve tried. I’ve tired of looking for someone I could share my life with. I think there is no one who can take it. People come in my life and leave all the time, and Gerard is no exception.” Frank takes the cigarette from Mikey and takes the last drag. “But I’m glad we’ve met. And I wanted to thank you for this, Mikey.”  
Mikey smiles, but his shoulders are still tense. “You’re a big boy I guess, but I just needed to tell you this.”

*****

**09/20/13**

Frank jumps into Dewees's car and closes the door. "I hope it's worth it," he says dramatically.  
Dewees clucks his tongue. "Hey, when has it become so hard to drag you out on a show?" He pulls away from the curb and speeds up.  
Frank shrugs. "I'm just kinda tired and my mind can process only a limited amount of information."  
"Can it process the word 'fun'?" Dewees suddenly stops at a red light, and the tires protest with a shriek.  
Frank scrunches up his face. "I'm not sure I'm on board with this kind of fun."  
They get to the club safely, and Dewees leads Frank to a bar, dialing someone on the phone. Meanwhile, Frank tries to catch the bartender’s attention.  
"Hey, Bob!" He waves his hand at the blond man behind the counter.  
The guy turns his way and waves back. He's too busy for a chat, but he promises to talk to Frank later and puts three bottles of beer on the counter. "On the house," he says.  
When Frank turns to look at the stage, Dewees and another guy stand right beside him. He gasps, but manages a small smile.  
"Frankie, this is the guy I told you about. His band is playing the next set. Please meet Rick."  
Rick grabs Frank's hand and shakes it enthusiastically. "I've heard a lot of good things about you, Mr. Iero."  
Frank winces. "Please, call me Frank. Dewees said your band's name is the Wedding Gig. Why is that?"  
Rick's eyes light up. "Man, I love Stephen King. All his stories are awesome, but ‘Skeleton Crew’ is my favorite collection. This is another reason why I wanted to meet you. I am a bit superstitious and believe in signs, so I thought we could bring something good to each other. I mean your label and my band."  
Frank shrugs. He is not a big fan of people who believe in stuff. He thinks it’s weird. And infantile.  
"Well, let's see." He hands them the beers and raises his own bottle in the air. "Best of luck on your set."  
Frank doesn't expect anything special from Rick and his band, so he refuses to go in the pit and thrash around. Instead, he stays at the bar and patiently waits for the right moment to engage Bob into a buddy conversation. They haven't talked for a very long time, and Frank wants to make sure Bob isn't mad at him.  
But when Rick walks on to the stage and starts singing their first song, he knows Rick's got his attention for the rest of their performance.  
It's not Rick's voice or the sincere lyrics that draws his attention but the sheer power of the mood they share with the crowd. The music is of pretty moderate quality, and Rick definitely has to learn to keep his breathing under control, but Frank can't stop listening and tapping his foot against the counter. He knows he's hooked but there's no way he's signing that asshole after the first kind-of-an audition.  
He feels the cold touch of a glass to his neck and turns around to find Bob with another beer and a sweet smile.  
"Enjoying your time out, Frankie?" He looks kind of smug.  
"Hey," Frank doesn't need another second to figure everything out. "It was all you! It was your idea for me to come here!"  
Bob shrugs. "Those guys," he nods at the stage, "have been playing here since summer, and they're growing really fast. I didn't want someone else get them first."  
Frank shakes his head. "I'm impressed, but not convinced."  
Bob gets a glass of water and drinks it in two big gulps. "I didn't expect you to be," he wipes his mouth and puts the glass into the sink. "But I'm glad you've come."  
Frank looks him in the eyes and blinks slowly. "Me too. Thank you. I wish I could be here more often."  
Bob nods. "Yeah, I wish I didn't have to be here every waking hour too. But, you know how it is."  
Frank smiles. He knows. There aren’t many clubs left in Jersey where you can listen to a good band and not spend a fortune on booze. And Bob's is one of those places.  
Frank's also glad that everything's fine between the two of them.  
He waits for Dewees to come back from the pit, and they talk to Bob for almost an hour more.  
Rick shows up at some point and introduces the rest of the band members. They seem almost sober and even nervous, so Frank gives up and asks for their demo. He tells Rick that they should schedule a meeting at the studio next month and maybe discuss a possible collaboration.  
It's almost midnight when Dewees drops him off at his house.  
"Is everything alright?" Dewees asks while Frank's unbuckling his belt.  
Frank startles, "What?"  
Dewees flicks his hand. "I dunno, you look...sad or maybe even irritated by something. It doesn't look like you."  
Frank stares at the windshield for a moment. “I kinda am. Maybe it's because I'm a single father, and my hypothetical maternal instinct kicked in?"  
"You mean, because of the increased estrogen level you're experiencing mood swings?" Dewees makes a disagreeing face. "Nah, it's something else. Think again."  
Frank lets some random thoughts pass through his mind. "It's Friday."  
"You’re right, it is. You're supposed to go out," Dewees hints raising his brows.  
"Yeah, but we didn't," Frank says quietly.  
"What?" Dewees squeaks.  
Frank rubs his face tiredly. "I'm sorry. I think this Friday off thing doesn't work very well."  
Dewees's face softens and he sighs. "Go get some sleep."  
"Yeah," Frank gets out of the car. "Thank you, James. And tell Rick I enjoyed the show," he says before closing the door.  
Dewees salutes him and drives away.  
Frank has no energy left to do anything, so he goes to bed after a quick shower. He’s thinking about Gerard and wonders when he’s going to call again. His fingers itch to grab the phone and text him something, to tell him about his day and the new band, but he falls asleep before he can actually do it.  
He wakes up in the middle of the night though with the same agenda on his mind, only this time he can’t think of any reason why she shouldn’t send a text to Gerard. He fumbles for his phone and unblocks it. Feeling awake and like on a mission, he starts a new text message and types in “Why don’t we text each other?” But he doesn’t send it. He stares at the screen until it switches off and then deletes the message.

*****

**09/24/13**

It's Tuesday evening, and Frank is reading a touch-and-feel board book about a fox with Andy sitting on his lap. The book is very bright and surprisingly challenging, because he has to imitate voices of different animals which come by at the fox's house. He's playing ‘ _What does the fox say?_ ’ in his head and wonders whether he's crazy enough to sing it to Andy or not.  
He's a little tired, but Andy's laughter gives him more energy so he pushes the thought that he won't be able to put her to sleep on time if they don't cut it soon to the back of his head.  
His phone buzzes beside his thigh, and Andy gasps in surprise. It's Gerard.  
Frank swallows with effort. He didn't find any messages in his sent folder, but the fact that he doesn't remember doesn't mean he didn't delete the message after he sent it.  
Maybe Gerard didn't know what to say all this time, and now he's just calling to tell Frank that they're done. But done with what?  
Andy fidgets on his lap and pulls at his fingers.  
"I know, honey." He takes the book away and answers the phone. “Um, hi, Gee.”  
" _Hey, Frankie, are you busy?_ " Gerard sounds casual, so maybe he hadn't sent that stupid message after all.  
"Um, not really. We're just reading a book." He locks the phone between his ear and right shoulder and rearranges Andy so he's looking at her face now. She watches Frank with interest and doesn’t seem to mind that they've been interrupted.  
" _Oh, I can call later or..._ "  
"It's really okay. We can talk," Frank says with a tinge of annoyance in his voice. But, come on, Gerard doesn't have to be so careful with them. Gerard takes a breath loudly, and Frank winces. "I mean, I wanted to talk to you and I'm glad you called. Please, keep us company for a few minutes."  
There's silence followed by a giggle. " _I'm sorry, Frankie._ " And Frank thinks this is it. _"Sometimes I think people are just being polite with me and really don't wanna talk, but you don't have to convince me. I missed you and I’ve been wanting to ask you about the show since Friday._ "  
Oh. Frank thinks. That's good. "It was great. I'm going to sign this Rick guy and his band. You have to listen to their demo." Frank stands up and lifts Andy with him. She doesn't protest, just wraps her hands around his neck, turns to look at the ceiling, and then back at Frank. He winks and she grins in response. "But they shouldn't know this yet, so don't you dare spill it to anyone, even Mikey."  
" _Your secret is safe with me,_ " Gerard says gently.  
Frank’s ears burn. “So uh…” he can’t find the words.  
“ _Yeah, we should meet again, I think,_ ” Gerard fires up and falls silent.  
“Yeah, absolutely,” Frank’s now twisting his fingers behind Andy’s back. “But I have an appointment this Friday and…I can’t put it off anymore.”  
“ _Oh,_ ” Gerard says in a tone that breaks Frank’s heart. He doesn’t want to wait any longer. He’s not sure he can.  
“Anyway,” he says, and feels his heart clench. “Why do we meet on Fridays? This is just stupid. You can come over now, if you want.” He gives Andy an assessing look. She’s old enough to know a stranger and not to take him for Mikey or Dewees, but she’s been very friendly to all new people so far, so Frank decides to chance it. If only Gerard accepts his invitation, which he hasn’t yet. “Gee?”  
“ _I’d be happy to. I’ll be there in half an hour. Do you need anything? Maybe coffee?_ ” Gerard speaks so fast Frank barely manages to process everything.  
“Great, of course, I mean, no. I have coffee. I’ll make us some. Just…just okay.”  
“ _Yeah, okay._ ”

*****

Frank hesitates when there’s a knock on the door. Should he take Andy with him to answer it? Andy hears it too and opens her mouth and eyes wide in surprise.  
“Who that might be?” Frank asks in a tone of conspiracy. “Do you wanna go and see?” Frank points at the source of the knock.  
Andy reaches her hands to Frank so he’ll take her in his arms, and Frank thinks she’s decided it for him. He takes her to the door and presses his index finger to his lips, making funny faces at her. She’s on the verge of a laughter outbreak, so Frank hurries to open the door.  
Gerard is standing on the porch with his hands stuck in the pockets of his jacket and looks up at them when the door opens.  
“Hey,” Franks says as friendly as he can manage so Andy would feel he’s glad to see their guest.  
“Hi there,” Gerard waves his hand and twists his body nervously.  
Andy bursts out laughing and reaches her hands to Gerard. Frank steps back to let him inside the house and closes the door once he’s there. Gerard seems taken aback but he’s smiling and doesn’t attempt to run away.  
“Andy this is Gerard.” Frank moves towards Gerard, and she grabs for his nose with one hand and for his bright red hair with the other. Frank is shorter than Gerard and it’s uncomfortable to hold Andy with outstretched arms. “Do you want to hold her?” he asks and Gerard nods immediately.  
Andy wraps her hands around Gerard’s neck and doesn’t take her eyes off his hair while they go to the living room. Frank uses the moment to hide the book that’s got her so excited and brings her baby chair from the kitchen. He puts her inside the chair while Gerard talks to her and wipes her face with a wet napkin.  
“She’s supposed to be resting after dinner right now, but I got carried away and missed the time. But I think if we eat now she’ll get to sleep on time, maybe a little later.” Frank walks to the kitchen to start coffee machine and prepare some formula for Andy.  
When he comes back with a tray of what’s supposed to be their dinner, he finds Gerard sitting on the floor across Andy and telling her a story about a dog and a fox. She’s smiling and kind of listening, but Frank can tell she’s just waiting for another chance to grab for his hair again.  
He puts the tray on the table. “I brought some coffee and cookies.”  
Gerard turns and tries to stand up. “Great. Thank you. I don’t wanna be a bother.”  
Frank wants to roll his eyes but shakes his head instead. “It’s okay. I’m glad you’re here.” He gestures to a couch. “Come on, sit down.”  
Frank takes the bottle, checks the temperature once again, and reclines the chair down so Andy can hold the bottle by herself. Then he sits beside her and takes the coffee. Andy watches them sip their coffees and starts drinking from the bottle with a contented sigh.  
“She’s pretty hungry.” Gerard notices.  
Frank supports the back of the bottle just in case and nods. “Doctors say it’s a good sign.”  
“It’s going to be fine.” Gerard says and looks at Frank over the rim of his cup.  
Frank doesn’t say anything for a while just enjoying the moment. “Do you want to listen to the Wedding Gig’s demo?” He finally asks.  
“Is it appropriate?” Gerard casts a quick glance at Andy who’s still busy with her bottle.  
Frank shrugs. “It’s not Bach but I don’t think it can hurt. We’ll listen quietly.” Frank reaches for a drawer at the couch and takes his iPod out. He finds the right track list and sticks the iPod into the speaker-dock, adjusting the volume to a listenable level.  
They exchange comments about the music from time to time but mostly they just sit quietly and steal quick peeks at each other.  
By the time the music is over, Andy looks very drowsy. Gerard crawls on his knees to her chair and pecks her forehead and a hand and then stands up. “I should be going.”  
Frank stands up too. “Yeah, I should put her to sleep now.”  
“Thank you for inviting me here,” Gerard wants to say something else but shrugs it off.  
Frank nods. “You’re always welcome.” He hesitates but he has to say this. “You can call me anytime. If I’m busy, your call will go straight to voicemail. Or you can just text me. I’ll read the message and text you back when I have time.”  
Gerard looks surprised. “Really? I thought no one texts anymore these days.”  
Frank frowns. “Who told you that?”  
Gerard waves his hand. “I don’t know? It just feels like it.”  
“Well then you should know that I still prefer the old-fashioned ways of communication so feel free to contact me any time.” Frank stands at the open door and reaches his hand to shake Gerard’s.  
Gerard takes his hand and squeezes it. “I will. Good night, Frankie.”  
“Good night, Gee.” Frank sees him off and closes the door.  
He goes back to the living room and takes Andy from her chair. She’s relaxed as a rag doll in his arms.  
On his way upstairs he realizes that he wants to see Gerard again already. Why don’t they see each other every day?

*****

**09/27/13**

Frank has been putting off his appointment with Doctor Carter until he got a call from Mrs Richardson, a social worker who had been assigned to them. She insisted that if she doesn’t get a report from his therapist until the end of September, she’s going to make him drive to her office every Monday and Thursday for group therapy sessions. That made Frank look at Doctor Carter differently.  
Frank had forgotten that he was a very good looking man with a soft voice in his mid-forties, and not as nosy as Frank had been expecting.  
On Friday, he takes Andy to his mom’s and drives to Dr. Carter’s office in Jersey City. They talk about Andy and her absolutely normal development, then Dr. Carter tries to make Frank talk about his fear of being a bad father, of not being enough, but Frank shrugs it away. He’s convinced that he doesn’t have any time to be scared.  
“We’re about to start the next vaccination period,” Frank tells him, folding his finger, “then I have to find us another day for a swimming pool,” Frank bends the second finger, forgetting about the fact that he’s talking to a therapist, “because that bitch from our Sunday group can’t take no for an answer, so now we have to leave, and…” there is another thing Frank was going to share with this friendly-looking man, but he stops mid-sentence and looks guiltily at the man across the table. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that about that woman.”  
Doctor Carter nods. “Can you tell me what happened?”  
Frank rubs his neck. He knows it’s going to end up on the report, so he at least has to tell his own view on the story. “There’s this nice girl, Sasha, at the swimming pool. She’s the nurse and helps us with our kids especially when they’re getting used to the water. I’ve told her I was a single father and that I wasn’t seeing anyone at the moment, but I didn’t know she had only been asking because another woman from our group convinced her to. Later, Sasha told me that she thought we could make a beautiful family because that woman happened to be single too and very independent.” Frank takes a deep breath. “Anyway, that woman walked to me after one of our lessons and said she wanted to…make me dinner or something.” Frank could feel the dismay even now, two weeks after the incident.  
“What did you tell her?” Doctor Carter asks conversationally. Frank thinks he really wants to know.  
“Nothing.” Frank tries to remember their dialogue. “No. I said I was sorry but I had too many events happening in my life at the moment so it wasn’t a good time to start a new friendship.” Frank sneers. “You should have seen her, doc. I don’t get into this kind of conversation often but even I know that I hadn’t said anything that could make her want to slap me in the face. Thank god, Andy was already in the car or I would sue the bitch. But all the parents saw us and on Monday I got a call from our coach asking me to leave the group because we all didn’t want any troubles.”  
“Do you feel stressed out about the incident?” Doctor Carter asks.  
Frank shrugs. “Not really. I didn’t even remember about it until I started going through my checklist.”  
“Why aren’t you fighting for your rights to stay in the group? From what you’ve told me and in case the other parents can confirm it, you have every chance of being allowed to stay.” Doctor Carter puts his crossed fingers on the table and watches Frank intently.  
Frank smiles. “I’m not going to stay in the group where someone so openly dislikes me, that’s for one. For two it’s a win-win situation for all of us. I want to clear Sundays off anyway. Gerard’s heard that October is expected to be warm and sunny so we’re going to spend some time outside, maybe drive to a zoo or in a park.”  
Doctor Carter bends his head a little to the side. “Who’s Gerard?”  
Busted, Frank thinks. “He’s a friend. Of my brother.” No. “No, he’s the brother of my friend. And my friend too.”  
“You didn’t tell me about him before. Why?” Obviously, he’s not going to let it go easily.  
“Because I met him again only a month ago. He returned from a big journey and I just want to spend some time with him, to catch up for the time he’s been missing.”  
Doctor Carter narrows his eyes. “Is that all? I can see your eyes sparkling when you talk about him.”  
Frank opens his arms wide. “What can I say? He’s a bright, handsome guy and I like his company very much. But there’s nothing sexual between us. He could leave anytime for another trip and I don’t think that’s gonna do any good for me or Andy.” He crosses his arms in front of his chest indicating the end of the topic, and Doctor Carter doesn’t push.

*****

**10/09/13**

Penny is examining Andy after she’s got another immunization shot.  
“She looks fine to me, Frank. Are you sure it’s not just the exercises?” She puts Andy in the cradle and sits down at the table.  
Frank shrugs. “You said I should bring her if anything looks suspicious. Her temperature was a bit higher and I had to drive to the center anyway.”  
Penny links her fingers on the table and leans forward a little. Frank notices that all his doctors like to use this gesture along with a patronizing tone in their voices.  
“Okay,” she says, “I’ll check her over, but you should take it easy. It’s probably her teeth that are causing higher temperature. Has she been sleeping well lately?”  
Frank scratches the side of his face, leaving red marks along the way. He forgot to cut his nails again. “I wish I could sleep that deep and long.”  
Penny chuckles softly. “Well, then one more point on your tab, Frankie.” She leans back on her chair and smiles. “I got a report from your physician and the lab results this morning. We’re ready to conclude that Andy is perfectly fine and that you’ve done great work taking care of her.”  
Frank feels his throat tightens, so he clears it and scratches his face some more.  
“Thank you, Penny. I couldn’t have done it without your help. Yours, my family’s, other Doctors’,” he looks up trying to blink away the tears, but they spill out anyway. He whisks them away with the palm of his hand and tucks his hands between his knees.  
Penny writes down something on a card and hands it to Frank. “I heard you haven’t found a new swimming group yet.”  
Frank grimaces. “No, they’re already full. I don’t think I want to look for another center.”  
“This is the number of my fellow doctor. He is the swimming coach at another Child Center. It’s in New York City but it’s worth it, believe me. He said they have a free spot on Tuesday afternoon. You should call him, if you still want to continue swimming lessons with Andy.”  
Frank glances at his daughter. “She likes it very much.” He takes the card and puts it in his wallet. “Thank you, I’ll call him.”

*****

**10/13/13**

Gerard keeps his word and takes Frank and Andy to parks every Sunday. Frank is worried at first that they’ll run out of conversation material for the first two weeks, but it seems like the more they get to know each other the more they need to share.  
“How did you get Andy in the first place?” Gerard asks one day when they’re walking in the park with coffees in their hands while Andy watches the falling leaves around them.  
Frank tucks a strand of hair behind his ear. He’s gonna need a haircut soon, maybe next week or the next after that. “I wasn’t supposed to.” He nods with a smile when Gerard gives him a confused look. “In early May, I received a phone call from Mrs. Richardson who told me that she had great news. They approved my application and I was supposed to meet my son in a week. The kid was absolutely healthy. It was just convenient for all of us if they would drop him off at the Child Care center, and I would take him from there.” Frank sighs nervously. “I’d been so worried and excited I started dreaming about him. The night before the meeting I had a dream where a nurse gave me a child wrapped in a cloth and he smiled at me. I woke up with tears in my eyes, and couldn’t get to the Center fast enough.” Frank pauses and Gerard nudges him in the direction of a bench under a bright red oak tree. They sit there and Frank takes Andy out of her stroller. She grins at him and points her finger at the red leaves. Gerard gets her one, and she smiles even wider at the sight of his red hair.  
Frank fixes her beanie and goes on. “When I saw the baby, I felt dizzy. It’s not him, I said to the nurse. She checked the files and asked if I had already seen the boy before. I knew the papers were correct, but I panicked. I told her about my dream and that I needed a minute to calm down. She took pity on me and let me sit inside the children’s unit. It was an early morning and all the babies were sleeping. I walked closer to the glass window and peeked inside. There was one child awake, and I know it sounds crazy but she was looking at me. I felt like I’d finally found her and said There you are.” Frank’s crying but the solid weight of Andy’s body and her warmth comfort him. “The nurse said that Andy was supposed to stay here for a few months for treatment, and then the social service would put her up for an adoption. I said I would wait as long as it took.”  
“What happened to the other boy?” Gerard asks unable to hold back his curiosity.  
“Mrs. Richardson said that there was a queue of waiting parents ready to adopt him. She said she wanted to reward me for my patience and determination by pushing me up in a queue, but instead she rewarded me with permission to take Andy. It took another month to sort the paperwork, but we’re together now.” Frank kisses Andy’s forehead. “And she’s fine.”

*****

**10/18/13**

The Architects’ single turned out to be a hit, which has stayed on top of the rock charts for five weeks in a row, and their audio stream on YouTube keeps getting more and more views. Frank’s already arranged the shooting of a music video for the single, and a significant part of it is supposed to be shot at one of their shows.  
At first, he planned it as a one-band show, but the tickets were sold out in three days, and Frank had to find a bigger venue. He posted a poll at Skeleton web site asking ticket holders if they wanted it to be a showcase with the Architects as headliners, and almost all of the participants voted for the showcase with as many bands as Skeleton can find.  
It wasn’t a problem at all because they already had three more bands signed up and rehearsing at their studio, and also, Frank thought, it would be a good chance to try the Wedding Gig as a part of their Crew.  
The venue was packed two hours before the start, the Wedding Gig was supposed to be the opening band, and Frank had to personally drag Rick out from the bathroom to the backstage.  
“It’s going to be okay, Rick. You’ve got this,” Frank hasn’t got his hair cut yet so it’s falling into his face and annoy him like hell.  
Rick’s face is as green as the shamrock flags decorating the bar, and his hands are shaking. “We aren’t ready.”  
“If you want me to sign you, my friend, then you have to trust me on these things. There’s nothing you can learn in the studio where everything is smooth and scripted. You have to feel the crowd. By the way, how is it different from your gig’s at Bob’s?”  
Rick rakes a hand through his hair. “It wasn’t as crowded as here.”  
“Well you should know that Bob is sitting at the bar and is going to watch your performance today, so you just concentrate on him and people you know, your band. Let your music do the rest for you.”  
Rick doesn’t look convinced, but he nods anyway. “Okay. I’ve got this.”  
“Great, I’ll be at the main board, okay?” Frank waits until Rick nods again, and lets Brian take him to the green room.  
Their set whizzes by in a blur of sound, screams of the crowd and bursting lights, and Frank is already overwhelmed with emotions, so he stumbles to the bar and looks for familiar faces. There’s a caring hand giving him a glass of soda. Frank looks up and sees Bob and Gerard, standing beside him.  
“Hey, I didn’t know you knew each other,” he says looking between the two of them.  
Bob pats Gerard’s shoulder. “Mikey Way’s known everywhere, so is his brother.”  
Frank snorts. “Of course. Where’s he by the way?”  
“He’s backstage, supporting the New Tomorrow’s guys. They’re afraid to go out there after the Wedding Gig’s set,” Gerard yells over the starting music.  
“I’ll go cheer them up,” Bob yells in Frank’s ear and starts walking away, but Frank grabs his arm and squeezes it tightly.  
“You’re the best, Bob,” he has to stand on his tiptoes to reach Bob’s ear.  
Bob plants a sloppy kiss on Frank’s nose and leaves with a honking laugh.  
Frank rubs at his nose with a sleeve of his t-shirt and steps closer to Gerard. “I’m sorry I have to be everywhere else but here.”  
Gerard waves his hand. “It’s okay. I’m enjoying the show.” He sips his coke and smiles at Frank.  
Frank frowns. “Why don’t you drink?” And he adds after a pause. “If you don’t mind me asking.”  
Gerard takes another sip and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “Because I don’t remember any fucking thing after that. It doesn’t matter how much I drink. Even when I just go home and sleep after a bottle of beer, I don’t remember about it in the morning, so I decided I’d better remember everything and enjoy each moment of my life instead of worrying if I’d done something embarrassing the night before.”  
Frank thinks about it for a minute. “How do you relax and let yourself go?”  
Gerard grins at him wickedly. “I have my ways.”  
That sends a spark of something hot and welcoming down Frank’s body, but the New Tomorrow’s set is on and he has to be at the board again. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”  
“Sure,” Gerard chews on his lips and watches Frank run away.

*****

**10/20/13**

Mikey is sitting in the kitchen when Gerard comes in and starts the coffee machine.  
“I need to ask you something, Mikes.” Gerard sits across from Mikey at the counter and puts his hands on the top.  
Mikey frowns. “Are you leaving?”  
Gerard takes a ragged breath. “Yeah, but not anywhere far. I’ve been thinking about renting my own apartment.”  
Mikey raises an eyebrow. “Do you need more space? I can clear up the boxroom. It’s not a problem.”  
Gerard hums and takes off to pour coffee in their mugs. Then he returns and slides Mikey’s mug towards him. “It’s not that I need more space. In fact, I don’t need any. I can go outside and get as much space as I need. But I think I have to think about the future.”  
Mikey’s jaw tightens. He slowly takes a sip of his coffee. “And by future you mean what exactly?”  
Gerard rubs the back of his head. “I don’t know. You, mom and pop’s, Frank and Andy…”  
Mikey jumps up from the stool and starts pacing around, pulling at his hair nervously. “Oh, my god, you didn’t…” he rushes back to the counter and grabs Gerard by the t-shirt. The movement isn’t violent but filled with tension. “Tell me you didn’t promise him anything. You have no right to.”  
Gerard stares at Mikey with comically wide eyes. “Mikey, what are you talking about?”  
“I’m talking about you and your fucking good intentions, you fucker. Do you have any idea what you’re doing when you make people trust you and then you just forget about them?”  
Gerard shakes his head. “I didn’t forget anything, Mikey. I…I’ve been thinking about all of you all the time. I just…”  
“You just what?” Mikey says scornfully.  
Gerard hides his eyes under his messy hair. “I thought you’d be better off without me bugging you all the time.”  
Mikey shakes his head, disdain all over his face. “Just think about consequences before you do something stupid again.”  
Gerard doesn’t know what kind of pain is worse, the one from Mikey’s words or from the fact that his own actions hurt someone he loves so much. “Since when are you such a responsible person yourself, Mikey?” He doesn’t know where that comes from, but he’s sure it’s not gonna take him anywhere he’d like to be.  
Mikey recoils from Gerard as if he’s lost his memory and doesn’t know the man in front of him anymore. “When? Really, Gee?” He turns away to take a breath and when Gerard is looking at his face again it’s cold and emotionless. “Two years ago became a father. That day changed me, and the only person who I trusted with my life, who I needed the most at that particular moment, didn’t care. Didn’t even know he’d had a nephew. Only half a year later, when he got a letter from our mom, he would send me a postcard. With congratulations, you selfish son of a bitch.” Mikey’s crying now, but his voice is still steady and calm.  
Gerard feels like there’s a dam that finally has been broken somewhere deep inside his heart. “Mikey,” he whispers and rushes to his brother. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do, but he holds Mikey by the arms and says ‘Forgive me’ non-stop. Mikey tries to push him away, but Gerard is stronger. He’d been living in the jungle after all. Eventually Mikey slides down on the floor and wraps his arms around Gerard’s back, and they hold each other tight, crying their hearts out.

*****

Mikey is the first to stop sobbing. He pulls away from Gerard’s embrace, but Gerard keeps crying and won’t let him go.  
“Hey, Gee,” he brushes a strand of hair from Gerard’s wet face and strokes his cheekbone. “Gee, please, stop crying.”  
“I’m so sorry, Mikey,” Gerard keeps weeping and splutters some snot on Mikey’s face unintentionally. Mikey curses under his breath but doesn’t try to push him away.  
“I know, Gee. I know,” he coos.  
“I just wanted to make you all feel better and not to worry about me. I’m a worthless piece of shit, Mikey. I knew that, but I wanted to change, to become a better person.”  
Mikey sighs. “You never were worthless for us. We love you. But you’re so full of shit if you think that you can prove something by disappearing for a few years and then showing up shining like a Christmas tree. We need you here. And it’s very sad that we made you think that you weren’t enough for us. It’s our fault too. I’m really sorry too, Gee.”  
Gerard sobs a few times and raises himself off the floor with his hands. “I realized that when I lived in the village. I learned that if I’m not there for you it doesn’t matter what I do the rest of the time. But it’s so hard to accept. The minute I saw you at the airport I wanted to save the world again.”  
Mikey wipes a tear from the corner of his eye and chuckles. “Yeah, you know how to impress a guy.” His face becomes serious again. “Speaking of guys. Please, think about your actions before you give in to your emotions, okay?”  
Gerard nods earnestly. “I promise I’ll take it as slow as possible. I like him very much, Mikes. I want to make him happy.”  
Mikey scrunches up his nose. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

*****

**10/27/13**

“So, you finally talked. That should mean something.” Frank and Mikey are walking in the park with Andy and Joshua while Gerard is busy looking for an apartment.  
“I’m not saying it’s bad, but he just doesn’t know what people want. Most people at least,” Mikey’s forgotten to buy new contact lenses, so he’s wearing his glasses and has to turn his head to see Frank clearly.  
Frank can’t help but giggle at this. “So why don’t you tell him that. I agree, he’s being silly making a hero of himself, but maybe it’s who he is. There’s nothing wrong with a wish to be better, right?”  
Mikey stops and points a finger at Frank. “You’re just saying that because he hasn’t gotten to you yet.”  
That makes Frank belly laugh. “Come on, Mikey! He’s not a monster. He’s just irresistible.”  
Mikey starts walking again. “You’ve been doing fine so far.”  
Frank shrugs. “It’s because I’m too tired. And maybe because I don’t wait six years until I say something.”  
Mikey lets out a heavy sigh. “Just so you know he’s planning something for your birthday party.”

*****

**10/31/13**

Frank knows Gerard’s arranged a party for him at his new apartment, but he didn’t have enough time to figure everything out. He likes surprises, but Mikey is right. Gerard is unpredictable so Frank should be ready for anything.  
He’s missed his appointment with Doctor Carter on Tuesday, so now instead of taking presents and listening to good wishes he has to drive to Jersey City.  
Doctor Carter doesn’t forget about his patient’s birthdays, so he congratulates him and invites to sit down and relax.  
“You look more exhausted than last month, Frank. Is everything alright?” Today the doctor’s sitting in a comfy-looking armchair in the corner of the room, so Frank feels he’s got more space.  
“Well,” Frank lies down on the couch and looks at him from the other side of the room. “Where do I start? Let me see. Yeah, I’m thirty three today, but you already know that.” Frank hasn’t slept very well last few nights. Partly because of the Architects’ upcoming album and their irrational stubbornness and procrastination, and partly because he just couldn’t sleep. He lay awake in his bed and thought about stupid things like traveling, going on tours, making musicals. Where does that come from anyway? As a result, he feels like he’s high but the saddest part is that he’s in a session with his therapist. “Um, I’m a little confused about my feelings for Gerard, because I remember our conversation last month when I told you that we were just friends.”  
Doctor Carter nods slowly. “What do you feel now?”  
Frank sticks his hands out like he’s lifting up a wall. “That’s the problem. I want so many things it’s impossible to process. Maybe I just need to sleep some more.”  
“Do you like him?” Doctor Carter asks.  
“Yes,” Frank smiles like a loon. “Very much.”  
“Do you think he likes you back?” And just like that Doctor Carter makes everything easy and simple.  
“Probably.” But he doesn’t need to know that, right?  
“Today’s your birthday party. Your mother took Andy for a couple of days. Do you think something can happen between the two of you today?” Frank hasn’t gotten there yet.  
“I don’t know. It might.” _But the idea is nice_.  
“Do you want it?” _Oh, come on, doc. Really?_  
“I do. Very much. But I can’t.” _What?_  
“Why?” _That’s the right question, doc._  
“I have to think about Andy first.” _Oh._  
“Who’s gonna think about you?” _Um, Wait._  
“What if… what if they take her away from me?” _Now, I’ve said it_.  
“I don’t think so,” Doctor Carter raises his voice a little. “But they will if you exhaust yourself to the point of a nervous breakdown. You can be happy, Frank. The way you want it.”  
Frank just looks at him and blinks. _What the hell just happened?_

*****

Frank is really tired after the session but the doctor’s right. He wants Gerard even though his body can’t keep up with the program so fast, but he hopes they could at least make out after everybody leave Gerard’s apartment.  
He receives a hearty welcome when he gets to the party, but the secretive looks on people’s faces make him nervous.  
“Come on, guys. Are there any spiders hidden in the bathroom? Because if they are those of you who work for me are fired. Effective immediately.”  
Sunny and Seth take him by his arms and walk to the bathroom. “Technically, we’re not working for you so we have immunity.”  
“Then I’m un-signing you, sadistic bastards,” but Frank’s laughing. He doesn’t believe his friends would be so cruel to him and make a hell out of his life by bringing spiders to his party. Unless Gerard thought Frank needed to face his fears…”Wait a minute,” he stumbles and tries to stop his guards but it’s too late and he’s standing at the bathroom door, but Sunny and Seth make another turn and he’s in the kitchen looking at Mark, Brian and Dewees sitting at the table and Gerard standing at the window behind them.  
Mark stands up and takes a breath. “We wanted to make a surprise for you, Frankie. We know you’ve been worried sick for our new album and we’ve made your life a living hell, but in the end we just hope it will make it up for all your worries. Happy birthday, Frank.”  
He steps away and clears Frank’s view of the table. There’s a plastic CD box sitting on the tabletop with a black and white photograph as a cover. There’s the line at the top of the picture that says ‘The Architects’ and another one saying ‘When Time Stops’ at the bottom. But the most surprising thing is the photograph itself. It has Frank on it sitting at the board and Eddie and Rob behind the glass wall standing in the live room recording the keyboard part and the bass line for the Architects’ first single.  
“Where did you guys get this picture?” Frank looks at Dewees and Brian but they shake their heads and throw side glances at Gerard. “Oh, right. It was just before Mikey’s birthday party. You had a camera on you.” Frank watches Gerard rub his feet against the floor and smiles at him. Then it all comes together. “You’re not making this the front cover for your album.”  
“Oh, yes we are.” Sunny pats his back. “You’re prettier than us anyway. Girls will like it.”  
Frank gives Sunny a skeptical look. “What about the name?”  
“It was Gerard’s idea. And it kinda suits our lyrics.” Mark butts in.  
Frank wants to strangle them all. For making him so worried, for making him the face of the album, for making it about him. But most of all he wants to kiss Gerard.

*****

Two hours and four bottles of beer later Frank finds himself tucked in the corner of Gerard’s new couch and slowly drifting off to sleep.  
He vaguely remembers being lifted up and carried to a bed. But the next morning he wakes up alone and finds Gerard sleeping on a couch in the living room.

  
*****

**11/10/13**

Gerard flies to LA to attend a comic-con, and he has a few meetings there after that, so Frank doesn't see him for the first two weeks in November.  
He spends more time working on the Wedding Gig's demo, drives Andy to NYC, and hangs out with Mikey and Joshua.  
"I'm so glad I made that phone call," Frank tells Mikey on their way back from the zoo. "It's a long drive and more expensive, but they have a separate pool for infants, and the couch is always entertaining us with jokes and stories about kids."  
Mikey purses his lips. "Maybe he just likes your tattoos."  
Frank snorts. "Sure, he wanted me to wear a diving suit at first, but the other parents didn't mind so I got a pass."  
"By the way you talk about it, it seems like great time you can spend with your kid," Mikey looks at Joshua hiding behind the trees and sneaking peeks at them. "I'm not sure his mother would approve this kind of activity. She's afraid of too many things to let him near water without her presence."  
Franks sighs. "That sucks, but you should at least ask. The funniest thing is that the parents are mostly fathers. They convinced their wives somehow."  
"Yeah, maybe if we were married," Mikey digs out his phone and flips through the messages. "Gee's asking if you're with me."  
Frank frowns. "Why can't he ask me himself?"  
Mikey types in a quick reply. "That's what I asked."  
He sends the message, and in a minute Frank's phone buzzes inside his coat pocket. The message reads " _Sorry didn't wanna bother you :) Just got off the plane and going to NYC. Two more meetings today xoxoxo_ "  
Frank groans. "What is he doing?"  
Mikey reads the message, hovering above Frank's shoulder. "It looks like a triple kiss."  
Frank shoves him away. "You know what I mean, asshole."  
Mikey rolls his eyes. "Yeah. I know everything."  
"Does he talk about me?" Frank asks, pulling at Mikey's sleeve.  
Mikey tugs the sleeve from his grasp and smoothes the fabric with his long fingers. "Like, all the time. I think he's daydreaming too."  
Frank squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head vigorously. "I wish I could move things forward with him, you know."  
Mikey raises an eyebrow. "But?"  
"But I'm too fucking tired to even feel anything. It's like my body shut down." Frank also thinks that there is one thing he feels. It is the constant ache inside his heart, which only stops when he sees Gerard, but he doesn't say it out loud.

*****

Linda suggests taking Andy to her house for a week, so Frank can take a break before winter starts. He still hasn't been sick, and that makes his mother worry for him more than ever.  
Gerard asks Frank out on a date, but he insists that before that happens, Frank needs to have a few days just for himself. They agree to get in touch in a few days.  
When Linda leaves with Andy on Sunday afternoon, Frank goes to bed immediately and sleeps through Monday and Tuesday only getting up to drink water and go to the bathroom.  
On Wednesday, he finally wakes up, and the first thing he does is checks his phone for Gerard’s calls. There aren’t any. Frank feels hurt and forgotten, but he can’t call him first. He decides it’s Gerard’s call, not his. He does all the chores on Thursday and even makes dinner hoping that Gerard might drop by unannounced. But Gerard doesn’t.

*****

**11/22/13**

On Friday, when it becomes completely obvious that Gerard isn't going to call, Frank gets bored enough to drag his lame ass outside. While he drives along the streets, he contemplates showing up at Gerard's apartment and asking him what the hell happened or if he got it completely wrong, but the sight of the Starbucks logo stops his train of thought, and Frank remembers about his craving for a good coffee which he hasn't drunk for what seems like centuries.  
He parks at the other side of the road, because it’s lunch time and there are no places available, and closes the car door maybe a little harder than necessary. But the minute he opens the door to all caffeine addicts’ heaven, the warm and balmy air soothes his nerves and even makes him smile to a barista who doesn't miss the chance to remind him that it's been a while since the last time he was there. There is an option to start telling her about Andy and his sort of a new life, but the doorbell dings again, announcing new customers, so Frank just shrugs and cheers the barista with a wave of his cup.  
When he turns around, the newcomers are already at the counter. There are two men and one of them is Gerard. He’s dyed his hair black and looks a little older that way, but it is definitely Gerard. Frank gapes at him for a second but manages to let out a "Hi, Gee" before his insides start trembling with excitement and something that feels like betrayal since Frank has never seen the other guy but their body language indicates that they are more than just work buddies. Besides, Gerard doesn’t even go to work as far as Frank knows.  
"Hey," Gerard can’t hide his confusion no matter how hard he tries.  
"I uh," Frank mumbles intelligently, "guess, it's high coffee time". He tries for a smile but it turns out to be a scowl, he can tell by Gerard’s face. "I like what you’ve done with your hair. Have a nice day!" He blurts out before rushing outside to hide inside his car and then in his house and never come back again. Well, maybe for Andy’s wedding if she finds a nice person who wouldn’t mess with her head sending mixed signals and then not calling for a week.  
He is about to cross the road when he hears a voice calling his name. “Frank, please wait!” Gerard runs to him and stops when they are almost inches apart and grabs for his hand that isn’t holding the cup. Frank looks down and notices that Gerard’s hands are shaking.  
“Is everything okay?” he asks looking up at Gerard’s face.  
Gerard lets go of Frank’s hand and tugs at his hair with one hand and rubs his neck with the other. “It’s just,” he looks back at the Starbucks door, “it’s not what you think.”  
“Most things are,” Frank says suddenly and bites his tongue painfully. “I mean,” he shakes his head, “I didn’t think anything. Nothing at all.”  
Gerard blows the hair off his eyes and lets out a breath. “Look, I didn’t call not because I didn’t want to. I did, in fact. Want to call you. Very much, but I remembered how tired and exhausted you were and I just couldn’t…I hoped you’d call when you wanted to hang out or something.”  
The wind messes Gerard’s hair and Frank catches himself staring at his face which looks so familiar and feels like home, but he shakes the feeling away and rubs his head as it starts to hurt. “I thought we’d already talked about this. You can call me and if I’m sleeping or busy I’ll call you back. What stopped you this time?”  
Gerard shrugs. “I don’t know? I wasn’t sure you wanted to see me.”  
Frank works really hard not to roll his eyes, but then he remembers his own thoughts and the sudden attack of doubts, so he decides to give them both a chance. “I’m sorry I haven’t called either. At first, I was sleeping. And then I hadn’t gotten any calls from you, so…” he drops his gaze down on his feet.  
“Frank,” Gerard puts a hand on Frank’s shoulder and squeezes it lightly. “Will you and Andy go with me to New York this Sunday?”  
“What?” Frank stares at him in disbelief. He hoped that the week would end with them in his house, preferably without clothes on, and that was supposed to happen today, maybe tomorrow. “Sunday?”  
“Yeah,” Gerard fidgets a little. “Your mom, she’s bringing Andy back on Sunday, isn’t she?” When Frank nods, he explains. “I just wanted to do something together with the two of you. It’s Thanksgiving the next week and I’m supposed to spend it with my parents, because, you know, it’s our first holiday in, like, a decade, and…”  
“I understand,” Frank really does. In fact, he completely forgot about the holiday, and makes a mental note to call all his relatives so they won’t think he’s become an ungrateful jerk. And now Gerard is inviting them to go to New York to make up for the day when he is supposed to be with his family. “That’s very thoughtful of you. I mean, you don’t have to do this.”  
“But I want to,” Gerard bounces on his feet a little. “It’s going to be fun, Frankie. Please.”  
Frank barks out a laugh. “Okay. Let’s go. I’ll ask my mom to bring Andy tomorrow so she doesn’t have to wake up too early on Sunday.”  
“Okay, great!” Gerard looks back at Starbucks and draws his head down between his shoulders, a guilty look on his face. “I found an artist for my next comic book. He said he could work on my sketches and make them fit in the story, so…” There is that dreamy grin on his face that makes Frank feel like a giant asshole for being jealous because no matter how much he wants it, Frank can never draw Gerard anything more complex than a flower or maybe an arrow stricken heart, but Gerard would take it like it’s the most precious thing in the world.  
“I’m very happy for you,” Frank lets his lips stretch in a smile. “I’ll leave you to it then.”

*****

**11/24/13**

Gerard insists they drive his car because he can’t drive small cars like Frank’s. That’s why he shows up early in the morning to install a baby seat inside his Subaru.  
“Why do you need such a huge car? You’re living alone,” Frank wonders.  
“Sometimes I take supplies and drive out of town, sometimes, like, today, I can put a full-sized stroller in the trunk and not worry that it won’t fit in,” Gerard closes the trunk and follows Frank inside the house.  
“Did you have a car in Macondo?”  
“I did. Not huge, but a big one too,” Gerard chuckles. “You know, it’s a really weird country. They import used cars from the US and sell them inside their own country for a profit.”  
“Isn’t that, like, a common thing?” Frank opens the door and leads Gerard into the kitchen where Andy is patiently waiting for them inside her bouncer chair.  
“It is, but the steering wheel in our cars, it’s on the left side, but in Macondo they drive on the left, so the driver has to sit on the wrong side of the car.”  
That makes Frank laugh. “And you drove like that?”  
“What choice did I have? Besides, I got used to it.” Gerard opens the fridge and takes a bottle of water. Frank blinks at him for a second and turns to lift Andy up from her cradle. He hopes Gerard didn’t see his smile. He likes that Gerard feels at home in his house.  
“How long did you live in Macondo?” He takes Andy in his arms and nods at Gerard to grab their bag from the counter.  
“About two years. They gave me a house to live in, a car, a temporary passport.”  
“Wait a second,” Frank closes the door behind them and follows Gerard to his car. “I thought you’d spent there six years or even more.”  
Gerard opens the rear passenger door and lets Frank put Andy in her seat. “Well, I did, but…the jungle, it’s different from the City.”  
“How so?” Frank buckles Andy up and takes his seat at the front. Gerard walks around the car, gets in, and starts the engine.  
“Do you want to hear the story of Macondo?” he asks softly.  
“In fact, I do,” Frank says with a smile.

*****

“Macondo is a relatively new country. It’s less than a hundred years old. It’s located around the head of the Amazon River, right where the borders of the neighboring countries meet. Its economy suffers from bureaucracy and corruption; the people of Macondo are told to put their faith in the government, but they are poor and there isn’t much technical progress going on. But a good thing compared with city life is there are villagers who live in the jungle and who have their own policies.  
The government tried to make them pay taxes but it was very hard to execute. There is no place for tax collectors in the jungle, and only highly trained professionals could survive at least an hour there, so the villagers were left alone. They rarely come out of the forest and when they do, it is mostly because they need to send a letter to somebody in the City.  
The sacred animal of Macondo is the jaguar, and hunting them is prohibited, but it doesn’t stop the poachers from taking their precious fur and selling it to collectors and fashion designers. The government closes eyes to the illegal hunting if the hunter can pay with foreign currency for it. By the way it is illegal for locals too. If they find as much as a tooth of a jaguar in your house, the best you can get is a life sentence in prison.  
Everyone inside the country knows about this policy of double standards but there isn’t anything they can do about it.  
Each one of my colleagues, including me, got a separate house because my company paid big money to the head of the district for our every need, but not a cent from that money went to the social projects, I am sure of it.  
My colleagues soon left the City of Macondo one by one. They said they’d seen enough to keep working from a distance and just visit the country when it was necessary. But I stayed.”  
“Why?” Frank asks. His voice sounds distant.  
“Because I met Jango. He’s the head of the village where I stayed in Macondo. He taught me everything I could possibly learn about their culture and lives, about how they survived in the jungle for centuries, and I just couldn’t get enough of it. I looked at the world around me and stories about were-superheroes were bursting inside my head. I couldn’t have left before I’d written them all. And then I realized I wanted to go home.”

*****

In New York, they watch the marching band, chase pigeons, and take a carriage ride. They have lunch in the zoo and feed the animals after that.  
Frank holds Andy in a carrier for all that time and she keeps laughing and squeaking, and by the end of the day her voice becomes hoarse.  
Frank and Gerard find a nice bench and talk while Andy is having her afternoon nap.  
“I don’t understand, Gee. Why did you leave in the first place? What happened?” Frank thinks he can understand Gerard, but there’re still things he can’t wrap his mind around.  
“I don’t really know. I desperately needed to do something important. I needed to make a difference. I went to Tokyo because it felt like it moved faster, like my train had been waiting for me at the station but I had to hurry up to catch it. I liked it there, you know. It felt like we were doing something very important together. Until I found out that most of the people were just trying to work hard so they could get a better salary or finally retire and start living off their pension.”  
Frank snorts. “What else did you think we’re all doing?”  
“I don’t know!” Gerard whispers, trying not to wake Andy up. “I still believe there are people who do something because that’s who they are, you know. Anyway, my boss saw me one day and said, like, Gerard, quit that blues and do something useful, okay? So I did. I signed up for the Amazon project and worked hard every day until I met Jango. He taught me that there are people who can cherish my work, my life…and then I realized I already had these people beside me. My family. So I left. It’d been like a great journey but I hadn’t learnt any wisdom there. Apart from the jungle survival program of course. But I’d learnt to treasure small things.”  
There is an airplane above them, and Frank follows it with his eyes. “When I was flying back home from my aunt in Florida about ten years ago, I remember looking at the ground, at all those cities we were passing by. I thought about people living in their houses, going to work, having fun, dying and giving birth… It all seemed so unimportant in contrast with the cold, merciless sky, with being somewhere above it. But years later I came to a conclusion that there’s nothing above us. I mean, there is nothing more than us living our lives, having fun, going to work and dying. We’re born on this ground and the most important thing that can happen to us is life, the one that I was looking at while flying on that plane. So now I don’t think about big stuff, I think about being alive and all I want is to make people around me happy.”  
They walk until the late afternoon and return to Belleville when it’s already dark outside.  
Andy is sound asleep in her seat but Frank has to clean her up before putting her to bed, so Gerard turns to leave.  
They stand on the porch looking each other in the eyes, unable to move.  
“So, will you go out on a date with me, Gerard?” Frank finally asks.  
“How about next Friday?” Gerard suggests happily.  
Frank shakes his head. “This Friday thing just stuck with me.”  
Gerard chuckles. “You do remember it’s the Wedding Gig’s show at Bob’s.”  
Frank nods. “Yeah. Sure.”  
Gerard turns to step back but changes his mind and reaches for Frank. He doesn’t know what he is going to do, but it turns out to be a tight hug. He breathes in Frank’s scent and whispers in his ear “See you on Friday, Frankie. Thank you for a wonderful day.”  
“Thank you,” Frank whispers back and turns his head when Gerard leans back and Frank’s nose touches Gerard’s cheek. Gerard turns his head too but not enough to reach Frank’s lips. He pecks the corner of his mouth and doesn’t have the courage to repeat the movement, so he says goodbye and leaves.  
Frank closes the door and stands there for a few minutes just holding his fingers at the spot where Gerard kissed him. He can still smell him there, like a bubble of musk and hormones have burst right there, and he doesn’t know what to do – just leave it and keep breathing in or try to lick it all up.

_Desperate for changing, starving for truth_  
 _I'm closer to where I started, I'm chasing after you_

Gerard has been sitting in the car for good twenty minutes before he starts thinking clearly. He wants to run to the door and ask Frank to let him in, to let him stay, but he doesn’t know how to put all his feelings in that request. It could be too much and not enough at the same time.

_I'm falling even more in love with you_  
 _Letting go of all I've held on to_  
 _I'm standing here until you make me move_  
 _I'm hanging by a moment here with you_

*****

**11/29/13**

Gerard pulls up Frank’s driveway fifteen minutes early, but Frank's been waiting for him.  
They go for a dinner at a small restaurant not far from Bob's place where the Wedding Gig’s show is supposed to be.  
When they leave the restaurant, Gerard lingers at his side of the car.  
"What is it?" Frank asks walking towards him.  
Gerard hesitantly brushes a strand of hair off Frank's forehead. And Frank thinks Fuck the haircut. "Have you seen Good Will Hunting?"  
Frank frowns. "I have. Are you about to tell me that you are some kind of a genius and the government is after you so you've got to get going?"  
Gerard's eyes go so wide Frank starts thinking he's probably right. "No!" He giggles and hides his eyes, but he has to say something very soon before the moment becomes really weird. "It's just the scene from their date. You know, when they get the ‘first kiss’ thing over with.”  
Frank's face softens. "Oh. That one."  
"I was just thinking that if we're both sure that’s what was going to happen eventually…” but he doesn't finish his sentence because Frank is already kissing him.  
It's nice and releases some tension between the two of them, but it leaves Frank with an overwhelming desire for more.  
When they get to the club, Rick is already onstage, talking about fears and love. Their small group of fans is already used to his philosophical mood during the shows, but Frank thinks it's just because they know what he really means is hidden inside his lyrics. Rick finishes his speech with his last favorite line about how short life is to let our fears tell us what to do, and the show's on.  
Frank realizes that the band has a bright future with or without his help, because these guys wouldn't settle for anything other than perfect.  
He spends most of the show in the pit with Gerard, enjoying the music and using the movement of the crowd as an excuse to grope Gerard a little.  
After the show, he texts Rick that he would be happy to see his band as a part of their Skeleton Crew, and gets an instant reply that he will not regret his decision. But Frank already knows that.

*****

“Do you want to come in? I can make coffee.” Frank promises when Gerard parks at his house.  
Gerard nods. “Of course.”  
They get inside and head to the kitchen. While the coffee is brewing, Gerard starts telling him a story about an old lady who never left her house because she was too scared of being shot dead. Frank has already heard the story, so he tunes his voice down a little and listens to his body instead.  
He already knows that his heart is jumping inside his ribcage while Gerard’s around, that’s not news, but now he can smell the scent of another man in the room. A kind, attractive man who happens to be his friend and that makes him even more attractive. He watches Gerard’s lips and can’t find a reason why they are still not kissing.  
Gerard catches him staring and shuts up instantly. He puts his hands around Frank’s cheeks and kisses Frank slow and tentatively until the coffee machine beeps and Frank has to fill their cups and go to the living room so they can’t sit down comfortably.  
"You haven't told me anything about your trip to Cali yet," Frank sits down on the couch and watches Gerard do the same at the other end so there's plenty of space between them.  
"Oh, they've made me a great offer," Gerard takes a sip of the coffee and clears his throat.  
Frank raises an eyebrow. "Like what?"  
"There was this author from Japan, I saw him in Tokyo before, but he was so famous and I was, like, no one so," Gerard flips his hand in the air, and Frank nods. "Well, he walked up to me and said, like hey, buddy, I heard you were in town. I live in San Diego now, why don't we write a comic book together." Gerard rolls his eyes and shakes his head. "Something like that."  
"Oh," Frank takes a gulp and puts the mug on the table. "Do you want to work with him?"  
Gerard wrinkles his nose. "I know I should. He is a professional and knows how to do his work. He's also an amazing artist," Gerard frowns and rubs his neck. "But something feels off, you know. I don't think he's the kind of a person who I can share my creativity with." He takes the last gulp of his coffee and puts the mug right next to Frank's. "It's a great opportunity though. His editor's company is ready to cover all my expenses if I agree and move to California."  
Frank thinks he's a little dizzy. "Cool," he says coldly.  
Gerard shifts closer to him and reaches for his hands. "But I'm not going anywhere."  
"Why?" Frank asks through a lump in his throat.  
"Because," Gerard smiles, "that's not what I want."  
Frank knows Gerard likes to talk. But he's not ready for any kind of confessions here. The problem is that Gerard is sitting right next to him, so warm and alive, and squeezing Frank's fingers in his hands, and he's not going to move any further until Frank asks him to say what he needs to say.  
Frank sighs. "What do you want?"  
Gerard's eyes sparkle, and he moves a little closer. "I want to stay with my family. I want to be close to Mikey again," he blushes and sucks his lower lip in his mouth. "And also I want to see you and Andy every day."  
Oh, Frank thinks. That’s actually nice to hear. Gerard keeps chewing on his lip and it's glistening in the dim light of the small lamp standing on the table.  
Frank doesn't think he has to actually comment on Gerard’s words, he'd never been good with talking anyway, but he takes it as a permission to kiss Gerard.  
He sits astride Gerard’s legs and breathes in his scent, licking his neck and nibbling at his earlobe.  
Gerard gasps, and draws Frank closer for a kiss, and Frank means to remove as much clothing as he can reach. Gerard hesitates, but mumbles something unintelligible so Frank decides it’s not important.  
Until Gerard clearly says “No, wait.”  
Frank jumps up and puts his hands around his middle defensively, while Gerard’s trying to find the right words to explain himself. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”  
Gerard shakes his head. “No, I didn’t mean that, I eh…I just wanted to tell you something before we do something…anything.”  
Frank blinks slowly. “Right. Can it wait until later? Why does it have to be so difficult with you?”  
Gerard stands up and reaches out to Frank, but Frank takes a step back. Gerard rakes a hand through his hair and takes a deep breath. “I’m just gonna tell you this, because you deserve to know. Okay?”  
“What is it, Gee?” Frank can’t even let himself start running through the possible options.  
“Yeah,” Gerard takes a few steps around the couch and stops right in front of Frank. “I like you, Frank. I’ve wanted you since the day we met at the Wave, but there’s more. I want you and Andy in my life. And I’m very serious about this. I mean it.” He looks down at the floor. “I just thought it might change something.”  
Frank watches him silently for a few seconds. “Of course it changes everything.” He steps closer to Gerard and puts his hands on his waist. “Look, Gee, I can’t promise you anything. I haven’t had enough time to decide what I want. I do want you very much and I know it’s more than just a fling for me, but I can’t tell you that I won’t change my mind later. All I can promise is to be honest with you.” He pecks Gerard’s cheek, unable to believe that he’s going to say the next line. “And I will understand if you need to take a break. I mean, if you can’t be with me on those terms.”  
Gerard smiles. “I’ll give you all the time you need, Frankie.” He kisses Frank on the lips. “I don’t need a break. I want everything you can give me.”  
They are kissing again, and this time Gerard doesn’t stop Frank from unbuckling his belt and opening his pants. Frank pushes him on the couch and straddles his hips again moaning when their groins finally rub against each other.  
Gerard sighs approvingly but he seems to have a better idea, so he grabs Frank under his legs and lifts them both up from the couch. Frank puts his arms around Gerard’s shoulders and enjoys the ride to his bedroom admiring the strength of the man carrying him.  
In the bedroom, Gerard gently puts Frank on the bed and starts taking off their shoes. Then he goes for Frank’s pants, concentrating on unbuckling his belt. Frank wants to say something sexy, but what he comes up with is “I haven’t done it for a while.”  
Gerard snorts and nudges Frank’s hips up to pull his jeans off. “I hope your while wasn’t as long as mine.”  
Now Frank is curious. “Let me see. I think my last time was about a year ago, at my birthday party.”  
Gerard finishes with Frank’s socks and leaves a trail of feathery kisses as he moves up to lift Frank’s shirt and lick his belly. “Lucky you,” he says against his stomach. “Mine was in Japan.”  
Frank gasps partly in surprise and partly because Gerard bites on the sensitive skin. “Seriously? You didn’t…What about the time in the village?”  
Gerard gets Frank’s shirt off and settles down on the bed between Frank’s legs, stroking them up and down, looking him in the eyes. “You have to marry a girl before you make love to her. It’s still normal in some cultures.”  
Frank bites on his lip. He waits until Gerard strips off his own clothes and asks “Did you want to?”  
“Yeah,” Gerard pauses, “I asked Jango about it, but he said I had to find someone from my world. He said I wasn’t meant for integration.”  
Frank giggles. “That’s funny. And you didn’t try to convince him?”  
Gerard puts his fingers on Frank’s shorts. “I knew he was right. When I tried to tell that girl I liked about Andy Warhol, she just looked at me like I was an idiot. So I stopped convincing myself that we could have a future.”  
Frank pouts. “You’ve never talked to me about Warhol.”  
Gerard tugs Frank’s shorts down with a sweet smile. “Because I know you get it.”  
Frank’s skin is burning under Gerard’s warm touch, and he doesn’t want to talk anymore. He watches Gerard as he slides up Frank’s body to kiss him. It’s slow, wet, and maddening. He pushes Gerard away and nods at the nightstand.  
Gerard gets the message and reaches for the drawer to get condoms and lube. He doesn’t take his eyes off Frank’s while he’s prepping him, and then when he’s pushing inside, he holds his breath as he tries to adjust to the pressure surrounding him.  
Frank’s lying on his back enjoying their slow and tender lovemaking, but he can feel that Gerard’s tensing inside of him. Gerard is standing on his knees, stroking Frank’s sides and pecking his nipples, and suddenly it all becomes too much to Frank.  
He shuts his eyes close and takes a deep breath. “Gee, please, pull out for a second,” he pants and feels Gerard stop and do as he’s asked.  
“What is it, Frankie,” Gerard’s voice is hoarse and worried, and Frank has to open his eyes to give him some reassurance.  
“It’s amazing, it’s just…” he can’t talk anymore, so he turns around and gets on his knees in front of Gerard with his hands clutching the pillow. “Let’s try it like this, okay?”  
He feels a hand on his lower back and relaxes immediately, when Gerard’s cock is right there, ready to push in again.  
This is so much better. He can’t see the look on Gerard’s face, doesn’t have to hide from his soul-searching gazes. The only thing he can feel is the closeness and warmth, and that should be enough for now.  
Frank expects Gerard to jerk him off when he is close to release, but Gerard spreads Frank’s cheeks and presses his thumbs to the rim of Frank’s hole, making Frank gasp and moan in pleasure. He doesn’t push in, just keeps his fingers there, on the sensitive skin, and speeds up. In a few seconds, Frank’s body is shaking, and Gerard is coming too making a few last thrusts with a loud moan.  
Frank’s skin is zinging. He loses contact with Gerard’s body when he pulls out and leaves the bed to take care of the condom, and Frank feels abandoned. He needs to be close to that body, to be surrounded by that skin immediately.  
He falls on the sheets and tries to grab the napkins he keeps under the bed. Gerard comes back and helps him clean himself.  
Then he wraps his arms and legs around Frank’s body, spooning him from behind and kisses the back of his neck. “Can we do this again, Frankie?”  
Frank nods. He can’t talk, he can’t move. He feels safe and sleepy.

*****

In the morning, Frank wakes up with music playing inside his head. He doesn't move, just lies on the bed trying to save the remaining flashes of the dream in his memory.  
He thinks about Andy and that she could be a great listener for what he's dreamt. He turns on his side and remembers. Andy's not at home, she's with Linda, and there's a person he really cares about lying beside him on the bed.  
Frank watches Gerard for a while. He’s sprawled up on the bed with his arms lying above his head and the bedding tangled between his legs. His half-hard cock’s resting in the crook of his thigh and seems to be having a life of its own drawing Frank closer and making his mouth water at the sight of the velvety smooth skin. Frank’s ready to give in to the temptation but the music in his head becomes more insistent, so he gets up and pads to the studio.  
The moment he sits down on his chair, it all clicks. Beside the delicious discomfort that reminds him about the last night's activities, he sees the dream unfolding in front of his inner view, and he can't start his laptop fast enough, playing notes inside his head.

  
*****

Gerard wakes up to the empty bed and freaks out at first. He tugs his boxers on and shuffles downstairs to start the coffee.  
There's music coming out of the studio, and he peeks inside through the half-open door and smiles as he sees Frank sitting at the board with guitar in his hands and headphones on.  
Gerard fills their mugs with coffee and walks in, careful not to startle Frank.  
Frank doesn't see Gerard come in because he's facing the wall, but he already knows how Gerard feels with every inch of his skin. And then he smells coffee.  
He takes the headphones off and turns to look at Gerard. "Hey," he can't hold back the smile bursting with happiness.  
"Hey yourself," Gerard hands him the mug and sits on the floor right beside Frank's feet.  
Frank leans in and kisses him softly. "I didn't wanna wake you up." He nudges Gerard's cheek with his nose.  
"It's fine. I know what it's like to wake up to ideas dancing inside your head," Gerard pecks his nose and strokes his leg.  
Frank straightens up and wakes his laptop. "This time it's not just music." He looks at Gerard with a wicked grin. "I've got a crazy idea, but it's gonna be so amazing if I'll manage to pull it off."  
Gerard giggles excitedly and shifts his legs. "I don't suppose you're ready to share yet."  
Frank blushes. "Um. Maybe? I think I can trust you with this."  
Gerard raises an eyebrow. "Well? What is it?"  
"Have you read ‘Skeleton Crew’?" Frank asks quickly.  
Gerard frowns. "I suppose. Why?"  
"Do you remember the names of the stories?" Frank takes Gerard's hands and pulls him closer.  
Gerard has to move his weight to his knees, but he's too agitated to feel any discomfort. "Kinda? The Wedding Gig is totally one of them."  
Frank clutches Gerard's fingers. "Yeah! I want to make a fucking musical featuring all our bands and the Wedding Gig as the leading one."  
Gerard blinks at Frank for a moment then he shakes his hand and squeaks. "That would be fucking fantastic! How did you get to this?"  
Frank shrugs. "Rick told me we should bring luck to each other." Now, when the idea's out in the world, Frank's thinking about the main theme of the whole show. It still needs details.  
"You definitely should give it a shot, Frankie." Gerard kisses his knee peeking through the hole in his jeans. The hole is really big, Gerard’s hand can easily fit inside, and he uses it to stroke Frank’s thigh.  
Frank gasps, unable to keep his eyes open. “I remember you asked for a round two. I’m sorry I fell asleep.”  
Gerard chuckles, shifting closer to fit in between Frank’s legs and reaches for his fly. “I didn’t mean right away, just the general idea,” he’s already pushing the fabric out of his way and spreads Frank’s legs even wider, sucking his cock inside his mouth.  
Frank can’t help but shove his fingers in Gerard’s hair and push forward a little. Gerard moans around him, takes a deep breath through his nose, and swallows a few times before breathing out.  
Frank’s eyes roll involuntary, and he cries out, thrusting inside Gerard’s heat and coming a minute later.  
Gerard holds him in his mouth until his last spasm evens out and gently releases him, moving away with a smile.  
“I,” Frank pants, “you,” he puts his hand on Gerard’s shoulder and pushes him down on the floor, tugging at his boxers and licking the skin around his cock.  
Gerard lets out a soft sigh and spreads his legs, relaxing in an instant. Frank puts his hands under Gerard’s thighs and sucks greedily on his cock, rocking his body back and forth, sucking harder with each movement.  
Gerard’s body is so light and flexible, Frank wonders how he managed to carry him all the way upstairs last night, but his musings are interrupted by Gerard’s cry and then his mouth is filled with bitter essence which he swallows hungrily.  
“You’re not going anywhere today. Do you know that?” Frank asks and kisses Gerard’s inner thigh. He rests his face right there and hums when Gerard mumbles in agreement and gently strokes his hair.

*****

Gerard leaves on Sunday morning, and Frank spends the whole day writing songs before Linda brings Andy back home. He’s so involved in his new idea he doesn’t notice the next few days pass by.  
On Thursday, he gets a call from Sunny. Skeleton Crew arranged a small tour across neighboring states for the Architects to promote their new album, and it’s been going very well so far.  
“Hey, rock star, how’re you doing out there? Does Brian fulfil your every need?” Frank’s been texting with Gerard the whole day, and he’s been in the most productive mode.  
Sunny groans. “You said we should tell you if our former label tries to gum up something.”  
“I knew the fuckers couldn’t resist the temptation,” Frank’s already walking to his desk and digs out a file from the drawer. “I’m gonna bury them.”

*****

  
**12/11/13**

“I swear they were so stupid they didn’t even try to hide their scam for years,” Frank’s on the phone with Gerard telling him how easy it was to expose the fraud the already bankrupt record label has been perpetrating. He knew they wouldn’t listen if he just warned them, so he’s had to go to Kansas City to sue them there.  
“ _Your voice’s nice,_ ” Gerard suddenly informs him, and the sounds linger at the end of each word.  
Frank frowns. “What are you doing?”  
There’s a pause. “ _Um._ ”  
“Gee, are you jerking off?” Frank looks around his hotel room and suddenly feels lonely.  
“ _Kinda,_ ” Gerard tells him conversationally. “ _I forgot how good it feels, you know._ ”  
Frank snorts. Although he likes the idea of phone sex, that’s not what he wants right now. “Hey, let’s not touch ourselves until I come back.”  
He can hear Gerard sit up. “ _Okay?_ ”  
Frank releases a nervous giggle. “Just this one time. I want to try it.”  
“ _When are you coming back?_ ” Gerard asks sleepily.  
“On Friday. I’ll get Andy from mom’s and make a dinner,” Frank promises.  
Gerard curses under his breath. “ _I have a late conference call with uh…my colleagues from Japan._ ”  
Frank bites his lips. “Saturday then.”  
“ _Okay,_ ” Gerard gives in.  
“I’ll make it up to you, I promise,” Frank whispers, and Gerard hums softly.

*****

**12/14/13**

The first thing they do when Gerard steps through the door is making a run to the bedroom and strip off their clothes. They both come the minute their skin touches, but neither of them moves. They just lay on the bed for a while dreaming and smiling like teenagers.  
Their lazy talk about tight schedules somehow ends up with Frank saying "Maybe you should move in?"  
"Yeah, about that," Gerard whispers.  
“Um, I…I didn’t mean to say it so soon,” Frank freaks out, sitting up and tugging the sheet up his body.  
“It’s not soon, Frankie. I mean, not for me.” Gerard catches Frank’s hands and kisses his fingers reassuringly. “I told you I was ready before, and nothing changed since then.” He looks at the window for a second and scoots closer to the headboard. “I just have to go back to Macondo for a few days. Do you remember I told you about my late conference call?” Frank nods. “Well, I’ve talked to my colleagues and they said that they returned their apartments and cars to the City, so the local authorities could assign it to poor people who have been waiting for a place to live for years.”  
Frank shakes his head. “How it’s still yours?”  
Gerard shrugs. “Bureaucracy? Or because I didn’t care when I should have?” He groans in frustration and pulls at his hair. “I wish I didn’t have to hear this, because now I just can’t stop thinking about those people living on the streets and my empty apartment which can accommodate a big family.” Gerard brushes a tear from the corner of his eye. “Those people were so kind to me.”  
Frank laughs. “You’re a freak, Gee. But I love you that way. Go as soon as you can and come back home before Christmas.”  
Gerard looks Frank in the eyes and says “I love you.”  
His words set Frank’s body on fire. He aches to be touched and tugs Gerard closer, desperate for skin contact. When Gerard’s fucking him this time, Frank doesn't look away. They come silently with unspoken promises sealed behind their lips.

*****

In the morning, Frank and Andy are seeing Gerard out. Gerard hugs and kisses them both, walks to his car, but stops at the door and runs back to them. He hugs them again and asks Andy to do the trick he taught her when she closes her eyes and he disappears. She closes her eyes with her tiny hands, but instead of hiding, Gerard devours her daddy's mouth. They end their kiss when Andy starts squeaking and laughing at them.

  
*****

**Macondo**

_He’s thirsty, and his legs are killing him but he can’t rest now. They know he’s here. He has nothing to lose now but her. She’s his last ticket out of this god damned country, and he’s not going to give her up easily._  
 _There’s only a few miles left and he’s in the City. He only has to take her to the port._

*****

Gerard knew what he was getting into when he decided to do things right, but a few months in the civilized world where he could do most things online kind of spoiled him. Now, he has to sit in a small reception room filled with waiting, sweating people because air conditioning is unheard of in this country.  
The largest queue is for the room where people are supposed to register their newborn children in a huge log book which is the only copy. The reception is too tiny to accommodate strollers so all the women in the queue have to carry their children in their hands. A couple of babies are already crying their hearts out and a couple more are about to join them.  
The other queue is for disabled people and people who are about to reach their pension age. It’s shorter than the one with babies but it’s louder. One man with a mental disorder is screaming something to a younger woman who is watching after him and she’s nodding sympathetically, but her eyes are really far away from this place.  
Gerard wonders where her heart might be right now. His own thoughts are with Frank and Andy, and it takes all his willpower not to go outside and call them. The thing is he’s forgotten about the difference in the fucking plugs. He never used mobile phones in Macondo before, the mail was good enough, and when he needed to call to Tokyo he just went to the post office and used the phone there. Now he has a very hungry device which is very dependent on electricity, so he had to switch it off in order to save some energy. He knows he needs to find the adapter soon but the social service is seeing visitors during the morning hours, and Gerard stands a good chance of making it today because his queue is the shortest. In fact, he’s the only one in the queue but the executive specialist is away from her office.  
He’s sure it’s the same girl who worked here seven years ago when he got his apartment and the car. She was the only one who spoke English and that was only because her father was the head of the district, a fat corrupt asshole who put all his relatives at the important spots so they could make a lot of money by taking bribes, and he sent all his children to study abroad so they could come back and take over their daddy’s business one day.  
Gerard has a choice to stay here and wait for that girl, who’s a grown up woman now, or to go to the flea market and find an adapter for his phone charger, and pray to all the gods he knows or ever heard of that it’s still functioning, but to tell the truth Gerard has never been lucky when it comes to the right choices. He learned to rely on the stream of reality that’s been taking him to places he’d never dreamt of visiting in his wildest fantasies and that stream brought him to Frank, so it’s proved to be a trustworthy system for Gerard.  
But now the world is still around him, there’s nothing for him to do, there’s no motion around, only the stillness of the air inside the room and stuffy smell that’s driving everyone crazy.  
An old woman is already yelling at another, younger one, for taking her spot on the bench while she went out to the bathroom, and the younger woman just yells back at her that she didn’t have to ask permission to take the available spot and that no one has the right to claim something as his own, and so on and so on. Gerard already heard this argument before so he doesn’t have to speak fluent Spanish to know what it is all about.  
Gerard looks at the closed door and sighs. He could start yelling too or call for the manager of this place but he knows that it won’t get him anywhere. The only thing that will help is money. A nice pack of banknotes with American presidents on them. Gerard has some money on him, but there must be someone to take the money. He could sneak inside another door along with the next person and whisper magic words in the officer’s ear, and that person will happily abandon his duties in order to serve Gerard and remove him from the temporary resident’s lists and take his passport and car keys and sign him off of the apartment, but that means all the people who have been standing in the queue can go home because no one’s going to serve them after Gerard’s interference.  
That would be another choice he can’t make.

*****

_He’s in the City. He made it. But the police are after him. They’ve been chasing him for a while, and now someone saw him and called the police. The only good thing is that they didn’t bring dogs with them. So he can keep her. He can hide her somewhere safe and lead them away, to compromise their search._  
 _That’s a nice plan. That’s what he’ll do. There’s a house which’s been vacant for a few months. The owner is some kind of a rich writer and he hasn’t been seen in the neighborhood for a while. His house should work. But there’s no time to break the door, and anyway the police will see a broken door or window. There must be a place to hide her._

*****

It’s fifteen minutes before noon and before the service is closed for the day. Gerard has already learned from the chunks of conversations that the flea market works on Sundays, which means he will be in Jersey in Frank’s arms by that time so he doesn’t need the adapter at all.  
Suddenly, the door opens and a very familiar face peeks through it eyeing the surroundings. Gerard’s guts burn with anger.  
When her eyes stop at Gerard, she smiles and opens the door wider to reveal the rest of her body which gained a lot of weight over the last seven years. “Mister Way, what a nice surprise!” Her voice is hoarse and Gerard can smell the cigarette smoke coming from the room. It seems like there’s an air conditioner inside her office.  
Gerard stands up and smiles politely. He hopes he has enough sanity left not to bite off her nose. “Hello, Milena. I thought there was no one inside.”  
She waves her hand. Her hands and nails look neat, not like the other women’s, chapped, and dirty. “Oh, I’ve been busy, you know. You’re lucky to catch me. I was just going to finish for the day.”  
Gerard snarls. “Not until you attend my needs. I’m in a hurry, you know.”  
She raises an eyebrow but steps back inside the room and invites him to come in. “What can I do for you?” She closes the door after Gerard but doesn’t move to her desk.  
Gerard sits on the chair and digs out his wallet. He takes a few hundred dollar banknotes out of it and shoves it inside his jeans pocket. Milena slowly walks to her chair and sits down.  
“Do you know, Mr. Way, that carrying a foreign currency is prohibited for all residents in Macondo?”  
Gerard nods. He takes a temporary resident card out of his wallet and slides it to Milena. “That’s why I’m here. I don’t need it any longer.”  
She narrows her eyes at him. “You will need a pass card, so you can leave the country.”  
Gerard chuckles. “I’ve got one at the airport. Your custom service was very pleased to give me a blind date return ticket.” He crosses his legs and smirks at her. “But you must know that. You’re using these things regularly judging by your beautiful manicure and your soft skin. Spa retreats in Brazil, I suppose?”  
Milena smacks her lips and taps her fingers against the tabletop. “I’ll take you off our resident’s list, Mr. Way. But you’re going to go to at least five more rooms to give up your car, your apartment and clear off your account.”  
Gerard shakes his head. “Nope. I’m definitely not going to do that. You have a bunch of lazy underlings for that.” He stands up and looks around the room. The floor is clean in the center but the corners are stuffed with cigarette butts, dead insects and other trash. The whirl of the AC sounds like it’s on its last breath, and the windows are sealed because there’s a giant garbage yard right across from the building that stinks. He lets out a heavy sigh. “When I caught you sneaking out this room I wanted to tell you how ugly and inhumane this system is, but now I see that you know it. And every sane person in that reception knows it too. But you all act like you’re blind.” He takes the steps separating him from the door and opens it. “Fine,” he says standing in the door way. He closes the door and walks to the center of the reception room.  
People start glancing at him threateningly because it’s their last ten minutes before the day is over and Gerard might ruin their chances.  
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to knock on any of these doors,” Gerard sticks his palms out and looks at people’s eyes. He sees recognition in a few of them, which means they know some English words, so he addresses his speech to them. “I came back to Macondo to give up the beautiful apartment that was at my disposal for the last seven years. I wanted another family to get it. But we all know that’s not what’s going to happen, right? I thought you have no other choice but I was wrong. I’m sorry for interfering in your lives. Live well.”  
He walks out of the building and gets in the car. There’s nothing he can do. And he had to come back here to realize it.

*****

“ _So_ ,” Mikey says too slowly, “ _do you even have tap water there?_ ”  
Gerard rolls his eyes. “They already have cell phones, why wouldn’t they have taps?”  
“ _Do you know anyone but you and your colleagues who use cell phones?_ ”  
Gerard shakes his head. “Listen, Mikey, I completely forgot that their plugs aren’t useful for charging phones and other stuff here, and my phone is on its last fumes. I’m going to clean the apartment a little and give my car to a local smuggler. Then I’m taking off, but I’ won’t be able to call you until I’m in the airport.”  
Mikey snorts demonically. “ _I told you not to forget anything. You said you didn’t need the phone there anyway._ ”  
“Yeah,” Gerard rubs his finger against the scratchy tabletop, “Anyway, could you please call Frank and tell him I’m going back today, maybe tomorrow?”  
“ _Why can’t you call yourself?_ ”  
“Because it’s their nap time. I don’t wanna wake them up, and if it’s you telling him I’m a forgetful idiot you can laugh at me without me getting embarrassed. Worst case scenario, I’ll call him when I’m home.”  
Mikey snorts again. “ _Do you need a ride from the airport?_ ”  
Gerard sighs. “No. I need some time to think. I wish I could stay here a bit longer. If only there was a chance to find a normal plug.”  
“ _I thought you didn’t like it out there_.”  
“Yeah, I didn’t. But I haven’t had a chance to visit Jango, and I kinda need his reassurance right now.”  
“ _Why don’t you stay then? I’m sure Frank will understand._ ”  
Gerard winces. “We, uh, kind of left our last conversation at an awkward pause, you know. I don’t want him to think that I’m avoiding him or anything. I just…I want him to know me better, but I have no idea who I am anymore. He makes me want to be so much more.” Gerard’s voice cracks at the last syllable.  
Mikey sighs. “ _Okay. I’ll tell him you said hi. Be careful, there was some news about a guy from Singapore getting sick after coming back from Macondo._ ”  
“It must be a bad jet leg, I’m sure.” Gerard’s phone beeps a warning. “My phone is dying, Mikey. I gotta go. Love you. Bye.”  
He doesn’t hear Mikey’s last words because the line goes dead with the phone.

*****

Gerard can’t get Frank out of his head in spite of Mikey’s promise to talk to him. He isn’t worried though. He is very excited to spend the rest of the day thinking of what they will do when he’s back in Jersey. There’s an unsettling feeling that makes his head spin, but he discards it as jet leg.  
He jumps up from his squeaky chair and grabs the bag with his old sketches heading to the back yard to throw it in the dumpster.  
The road is quiet and the sun shines brightly, making Gerard feel even more stupid for forgetting his sunglasses too. He laughs at himself and rolls back the hood of the dumpster.  
“Jesus Christ!” he closes the hood and shakes his head.  
His palms and fingers start sweating from holding the bag, so he takes a deep breath and rolls the hood again.  
“Jesus fucking Christ!” This time, he doesn’t close it again.

*****

At Gerard’s thirty-third birthday his friends bought him a Bordeaux red hammock. Those things are extremely popular among the locals, but Gerard refused to use it until he has someone to snuggle in it with. Now, when he actually has two people to snuggle on a sunny afternoon, he has to give it away.  
He unfolds the hammock feeling as the soft fabric willingly slides under his fingers and thinks about Frank and that it could be a nice present for Christmas.  
He doesn’t have enough time to collect his belongings anymore, so he casts a quick glance across the room and grabs some random things he thinks he might need during the next couple of days. It is his favorite med kit, a flashlight, two lighters, a Swiss army knife, a half-full pack of Marlboro lights, two pencils, and a sketch book. He tucks all the stuff inside his backpack and looks around the room again.  
“I guess this is it,” He winks at the laughing Buddha sitting on the shelf. “Say hi to your next friend. And please don’t tell the bad guy where we’re heading to.” He bites his lip nervously. “He’ll probably find us anyway.” He hears a roar of the tires on the road in the distance. There is a huge muddy puddle that takes any driver at least five minutes to get through, so Gerard turns to the back door. “At least, keep him here as long as possible.”  
He runs to the dumpster and rolls up the sleeves of his shirt, eyeing the hinges that hold the dumpster swinging on them.  
He wipes his sweaty palms dry and lifts the dumpster up to take it off the hinge. “Oh, god you’re heavy,” he looks inside the dumpster. “Thank god you’re unconscious,” he accidentally scratches his finger off the sharp edge of the metal bolt, and a thick drop of blood runs down his thumb. “Fuck!” He sucks on the digit and resumes lifting the dumpster. When one side of the tank is free, it slides down and lands on the ground with a loud bang. Gerard winces and turns to look around. Everything seems peaceful except for the roaring vehicle’s engine obviously trying to overcome the muddy spot. “Okay, buddy, this will have to do.”  
He drops on his knees and lays out the hammock in front of the dumpster. Then he reaches inside the tank and is glad he had to carry Frank a few times before, so he can think of something pleasant while hoping to not be killed during the heavy lifting procedure. It goes surprisingly well although his nose starts tickling inside.  
He folds the hammock and stands up to put the now almost empty dumpster back on its hinge. The car is pretty close, and Gerard can already see the cloud of dust that follows it.  
He grabs his precious hammock and trots to his car thanking the universe that he hasn’t given it up yet.  
By the time he gets to the car and opens his trunk he is running with sweat and panting, and there is no water under the passenger seat. “Fuck!” He gets to the driver’s seat and looks back at his still unconscious guest lying on the floor of his old Sprinter’s trunk. “Don’t you guys need to stay fit to hunt or something?” He grabs for his backpack to get a bandage for his thumb. “Okay. Now we drive and you lay still, okay?” He shakes his head disapprovingly. “Who am I even talking to?” He starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot already forming a plan inside his head and bandaging his finger at the same time.

*****

Gerard parks the car under a large tree and runs to the post office.  
“Buenos dias senor Way!” A woman at the counter greets him with a wide smile.  
“Hi, dona Soledad!” Gerard tries to look as innocent as he can, but she seems to sense something.  
“Everything all right senor Way? You look agitado.” She slides off her chair and steps closer to the counter.  
Gerard makes a dismissive gesture. “Estoy enamorado.” He can’t help but smile to himself.  
“Oh, mama mia!” The woman squeaks. “Está ella aquí?”  
“No, not here,” he shakes his head. “Home. Jersey. Need a postcard.” Gerard points to a shelf with a few postcards with The Macondo parliament on them.  
“How sweet!” The woman clasps her hands. “I have one just for you, mi querido.” She walks to the back room and Gerard takes a cautious look around. The office is empty at this time of the day, but dona Soledad has to stay there because some guest workers can show up with an express mail.  
Gerard really has to go. “Look, you don’t have to look for anything special form me, I’ll just take those ugly Parliament pictures,” he says when she floats out of the back room with a smug expression on her face.  
“Here you are, mi querido,” she shows him two postcards. One with a sunset above the river and the other one with a jaguar enjoying itself on the tree under the sun. Gerard barks out a nervous laugh.  
“My brother Mikey is going to like it a lot,” he explains his sudden outburst to dona Soledad.  
“Then take them both,” she says sliding the cards towards him.  
Gerard doesn’t have time to hesitate. He grabs the card with a jaguar and scribbles a message.

  
“ _Mikey,_  
 _As I told you earlier, my phone is truly dead and I can’t find a plug. Please tell mom I’m fine and that we’ll meet very soon. I miss you all very much.”_  
 _Gerard, 12.17.2013_ ”

  
On the other card, he writes

  
“ _Frankie,_  
 _I wish you were here so I could show you how beautiful this place is. I have to stay here a little longer, but we’ll see each other very soon._ ”

  
His hand hovers over the last line and he fights the urge to write he loves him but decides against it. He will have plenty of time to say it when he can look Frank in the eyes. Instead, he just signs the card.  
He fills in the address forms and slides the cards towards dona Soledad, putting a few local bills on them. "Thank you dona Soledad.”  
She laughs. “You’re welcome, mi amor!”  
Gerard promises to kiss his love when they meet, then he buys two bottles of cold water, a corn pie and a can of cooked beans, puts his supplies in the backpack and runs back to the car. The pile under the hammock starts twitching, and Gerard curses under his breath. He starts the car and tries to remember the road to the forest.  
“It’s okay, tough guy. Please don’t kill me. I’m gonna take you home.”

*****

_It’s empty. She’s gone. Someone took her. He can sense blood. It’s not her blood, it’s human’s. Someone stole her. His precious ticket to freedom. Where’s she now?_  
 _The house looks like someone’s been here recently. He’ll find them._

*****

When the road ends, the river is a couple of miles away. Gerard tries to drive as far as the car can go but soon he’s stopped by a fallen free blocking the way. He covers the car with giant ferns and leaves the key in the ignition slot.  
He would enjoy the walk in the jungle if he didn't have to drag at least sixty kilograms on his shoulder.  
He rolls the sleeves of his shirt down to avoid scratches from sharp twigs and sweats through it. There are millions of hungry mosquitos but Gerard got used to them years ago. He also has some gel in his med kit. It smells odd but does a good job at scaring away the insects.  
Gerard’s chucks and socks got soaked in a puddle before his first minute in the jungle ended, but he knows that walking barefoot isn't an option.  
He tries not to pay too much attention to the continuous twitching inside his makeshift sack and murmurs soothing words under his breath although he isn't sure who he is trying to calm down.  
He slips over continually and has to close his eyes when the scratchy twigs try to poke his eyes, but eventually, he hears the sound of the river nearby.  
"We're almost there, buddy. The river is a few yards away. Just wait a little bit longer." He sets off at a run panting and wiping away the sticky strands of hair that cling to his face.  
The narrow path ends suddenly, and Gerard is falling down the slick muddy slope, dragging the hammock behind him. He stops when he hits the water, knee deep and cold.  
"If there weren't anacondas or crocodiles, I would definitely make it to the other side," Gerard says lifting the hammock under the water level. "I'm sorry you got wet but we need to hurry up, before the guy who left you in my dumpster makes it to the river. I'm sure he's already found my car," Gerard mutters making his way in the sandy water to a v-shaped tree where he knows he’ll find a boat. Jango once told him that his people always need to have a way out of the City, so they hide boats at almost every v-shaped tree along the banks of the river that leads to the village.  
“Here we are,” he stumbles, trying to pick up his pace when he sees the wooden end of the boat hidden under the branches. He reaches for the boat, tugs it forward and it slides into the water willingly. Gerard puts the hammock inside, closer to the front end, as far away from his seat as physically possible, and takes a deep breath. "Okay," He lets the air out of his lungs and thinks about Frank and his smile.  
Then he tugs at the side of the hammock and turns it over, opening access to the air for his companion. Maybe if he wanted or could kill Gerard, he would have done it many hours ago, but now he just looks melancholically around and blinks at the bright light.  
"Hey," Gerard's hand twitches toward his head, but he stops it, reminding himself that jaguars are not cats at all. "I removed the needle from your leg, but you're going to stay paralyzed at least one day. It was a damn big doze of tranquilizer you got." The jaguar bares his teeth but doesn't move otherwise. "Okay," Gerard turns the boat along the stream and climbs inside at the other end. He decides to leave his backpack on for a while and takes the paddle from under the bench. "If we're lucky, we'll be in Jango's village tomorrow. He'll help you." The animal gives Gerard kind of an annoyed look and puts its head down on the floor of the boat.  
Gerard contemplates removing the damp hammock from under the cat but shakes his head at the thought.

*****

A few hours later, Gerard has finally calmed down a little. The cat is sleeping and twitching in its sleep. The wind blows away the annoying bugs and the trees give enough cover to shelter from the merciless sun. Gerard takes a deep breath. The air smells like mold and honey. It’s warm and cold with many layers in between.  
He shakes off his backpack and pulls the bottle of water from it. He doesn't realize how thirsty he is until he takes the first gulp. The water is lukewarm but nothing on earth could be as tasty and refreshing.  
He takes a couple more gulps and puts the bottle back, tucking the backpack under the bench where the floor is cold from the river. There is a heap of dry grass at the corner so Gerard hops there and gets comfortable leaning on the side of the boat. The stream is fast but steady so Gerard lets himself relax a bit. He looks up and sees the sun rays streaming down on him through the leaves.  
He blinks slowly and remembers the day when he, Frank and Andy went to Central park. He realized that day that he hadn't been so happy for a long time. His hands reach for the backpack and dig out the sketchbook and a pencil.

*****

It is almost evening when the jaguar starts trying to get up. Gerard is sitting on the bench and it takes all his will not to jump out of the boat.  
"You can't get up," he says comfortingly but firm. "Not just yet. Wait for a little longer." Gerard looks at his backpack. "I'm afraid I don't have any fresh meat." He sighs and grabs the paddle from the floor and rows along the flow, making the boat ride faster.  
Jaguar seems to calm down a bit and yawns looking up. His eyes reflect universal boredom but the second his eyes fix on Gerard they don't move.  
Gerard feels nervous and a little agitated. "What?" He asks raising an eyebrow. "What is it?" He repeats when the animal just keeps looking at him. There is no warning or anger, just a plain simple look.  
Gerard feels his skin prickle, and he huffs nervously but nearly bites down on his tongue when something extremely heavy, slinky cold and uncomfortable falls on his head and shoulders and even starts moving.  
Gerard doesn't give it a second thought. The moment they collide, he jumps up and lifts the thing up from his upper body with an evil shriek, shaking and jumping, and drops the damn heap in the river.  
He goes on screaming and shaking for a few seconds more just watching the heap untangle and make its way to the opposite bank.  
"Fucking anaconda!" Gerard screams and shakes some more just from the thought. Then he turns to look at the cat and notices it still looking at him. "Really?" The cat blinks. "Okay, thanks, I guess," he says softly. The cat blinks again.

*****

Gerard wakes up because it is really hot. He’s been dreaming about Frank and the two of them being in bed and Frank's hot breath on his back while his fingers...  
"Ouch!" There is a scratching on his face. He opens his eyes to see that they are drifting under the trees and are about to ride to the dead-end arm of the river. "Okay, it's time to see where we are."  
Gerard rubs absentmindedly at his boner and grabs the paddle. The jaguar doesn't pay him any attention.  
When they join the main stream again, Gerard turns the boat to the East. The sun is rising, and Gerard just stares at the horizon for a while, mesmerized.  
"There's got to be something bigger and worthy in this damn world, you know," he glances at the jaguar. The animal raises its head a little. "Isn't it one the most beautiful experiences a man can have? The coldness of the early morning, silence of the world before it takes the first breath of the day." Gerard frowns. It is kind of cold outside considering the rainforest climate. Why does he feel so hot? He touches his forehead. "It looks like I have a fever." He giggles. "That's nice. I hope we get to Jango before I start hallucinating."  
The cat gives him a slightly concerned look, at least it seems so to Gerard. He waves his hand dismissively. "Don't worry. You'll be okay in a few hours tops and then you can abandon me here and swim to the bank and home." He shrugs. "It wasn't a very wise idea in the first place, but what I was supposed to do? Bring you to the police? What If they'd taken you to the zoo? Or worse, sold you on the black market."  
The cat looks away. Gerard reaches his hand to its leg. "Hey, your legs must be killing you right now. All this waking up from the dead thing." He rubs his fingers along the soft fur. The cat, surprisingly, lets him. He shifts a little bit closer and rakes both hands though the fur of her leg. The cat closes her eyes and grunts a little, shifting her leg and letting Gerard rub her stomach. "Oh," Gerard smiles, "you like it." He strokes the soft fur. "But," he slows down, confused, "you're a girl." The cat doesn't respond, just keeps lying there with her eyes closed. "No wonder they wanted to catch you alive then." Gerard is massaging the inner sides of her legs and belly, watching flecks of fur flying around and landing everywhere. In a few minutes, Gerard's nose is running and his eyes are filled with tears.  
"Fucking allergy," he sneezes and is about to rub his eyes with his hand, but stops just in time to look at his dirty fingers. "Yuck! Do you ever lick yourself clean or something?" He sneezes three times in a row. "Fuck," he mutters withdrawing his fingers from the fur and looking into the water. He sneezes again. "Do you think I can wash my hands there?"  
The cat studies him carefully and then turns on her belly and legs, as if she is ready to leap, her ears twitching.  
Gerard crawls to the side of the boat putting his palms on the edge and looks down. Fluid is dripping continuously from his nose now. Gerard is dizzy just from looking at the water, and his hands give up. He collapses on the edge of the boat with his hands hovering under the surface of the river.  
"Jesus, I didn't know an allergy could be this exhausting." His vision is blurred and he can't move. "Or maybe it is just a fever..." He closes his eyes and gives in to pleasant thoughts of Frank.  
The cat crawls closer and carefully nibbles at the collar of his shirt. She drags him back a little, inside the boat, so his hands aren't hanging over the edge as bait for the predators. Then she licks his hands and face, making Gerard sneeze some snot at her, and she sneezes a couple of times too. Then she crawls back to her spot on the hammock and sniffs the air carefully.  
Gerard is floating in fever induced bliss, coming back to his senses and then away again. He is sort of happy, being too fucked up physically to feel any pain or discomfort, but his adrenalin level makes him experience some kind of a pure consciousness where he knows he is in a boat in the middle of the jungle, probably sick with something and he has people back at home who love him and who he loves and he has to go back somehow but his body is unable to cooperate.  
"Mikey," Gerard licks his lips and realizes they are chapped. "Fuck," he grunts, "there's gotta be a village sometime." He tries to open his eyes but his eyelashes are glued to each other. He reaches to rub at them with his fingers but misses and rubs his nose instead. There is something slick on the tips of his fingers, and he uses it to clean his eyes but he sees red when he opens his eyes. There is blood on his face and his hands, and something tickles under his nose. He wipes there again and sees more blood. "Fucking fuck," he whispers and looks around. There is only sky and the crowns of the trees. He blinks at the sun and tries to lift himself up a little with his hands. His arms shake violently but do the best they can, so he is able to see the bank of the river. The moment his look focuses on something, everything around that object becomes smudged. He blinks a few times but sees only arrows pointed at him and ready to launch from between the trees. Gerard opens his mouth to say something and almost chokes with his own blood and snot. He falls on the floor of the boat again and spits out the contents of his mouth. He doesn’t see, but feels his companion crawl closer and shield him with her body. He hears her snarl while she presses closer to him and bare her teeth with a hiss.  
The next thing he registers when he becomes conscious again are people with brown skin and painted faces lifting him up from the boat and poking him with their fingers, stuttering something unrecognizable. Gerard looks around for the cat but she is nowhere to be seen. He tries to call her but coughs some blood instead. The people who found him put him on the hammock and lay it on the cold muddy ground. They don't stop muttering to each other, and it annoys Gerard to the level of physical pain. He tries to shove them away from him, to shake his head, but they hold him down.  
"Jango," Gerard whispers. "Jango…"  
Then he senses an already familiar smell and a tongue on his face licking his nose and neck. He smiles and loses consciousness again. This time, for a very long time.

*****

**12/25/13**

Frank is looking at the postcard and can’t understand why Gerard even bothered to send it.  
His phone plays Road to nowhere and he digs it from his pocket. “Merry Christmas, Mikes,” he says looking at the picture.  
“ _Did he send you a postcard too?_ ” Mikey asks immediately.  
Frank chortles. “Yeah,” he rubs the back of his head and goes to the kitchen to hide the card in one of the drawers so his mother wouldn’t ask him about it. She insisted on staying with them for Christmas after they returned from her sister’s family dinner yesterday. “With sunset above the river. What’s on yours?”  
“ _Jaguar,_ ” Mikey replies.  
Frank whines. “It doesn’t even make it a ‘Dear John’ letter. Why did he even bother?”  
“ _It’s weird. Usually he just stops calling,_ ” Mikey sighs. “ _I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let him get close to you._ ”  
Frank winces. “We’ve already talked about it. I’ll live. How’re your parents?”  
“ _I haven’t told them about the postcard yet. It’s really weird._ ”  
Frank bites his lip. “Are you sure we shouldn’t call the police?”  
“ _We don’t even have an embassy there. I’ll call his former boss in Tokyo, maybe they have some information about him._ ”

*****

**01/24/14**

Gerard blinks his eyes open and has to wait until his vision adjusts to the brightness of the real world. He tries to clear his throat but chokes on the dryness and soreness.  
"There you are," a familiar voice says from somewhere behind. Gerard cranes his neck to look who’s there but his muscles refuse to move. All his body is in so much pain he wonders why he is even breathing.  
"Jango?" He manages to crack out. "Is that you?"  
The man walks closer and sits beside him on the floor, Indian style. Gerard realizes he’s lying on the floor on a bamboo mat and only a piece of old sheet covers him. It is very warm wherever he is but he can't suppress a shiver.  
"Of course it's me, you shouldn’t talk much," Jango puts a hand on his shoulder and smiles. "You got through the fever stage, it's safe to give you this," he reaches somewhere higher and takes a clay cup bringing it to Gerard's mouth and lifting his head with the other hand.  
Gerard sips the liquid. It tastes bitter and sour but Gerard couldn’t care less. He is too thirsty. "Thanks," he croaks when the cup is empty.  
"I'll give you some water in a few minutes, let's just wait until your stomach accepts the stew," Jango puts the cup back and touches Gerard's forehead. "Yes," he nods to himself, "you're definitely getting better." Then he frowns a little. "Tell me what you remember."  
Gerard tries to comprehend the meaning of the question for a minute, but then, the memories of the last half year almost make him black out. "Jesus, how long have I been unconscious?"  
“Almost one and a half full moon cycle.” Jango puts his hands on his knees and waits.  
Gerard blinks and realizes that one moon cycle is twenty seven days longer than just one moon. “What?” He moves in spite of the searing pain surging through his body. Jango holds him in place. He’s a very strong man although he’s tiny as Frank. “Frank! Jango, I have to…”  
Jango nods. “I know. You’ve been saying his name all the time. Was he with you? Our people searched the river for any traces of your friend, but they found only a dead hunter. Anaconda got to him but couldn’t swallow. She must have been very angry.”  
Gerard pants. The pain is unbearable but the thought that he’s spent the last month here, without his family knowing about it, makes him lose the fragile thread of his senses again.

*****

_You in the dark_  
 _You in the pain_  
 _You on the run_  
 _Living a hell_  
 _Living your ghost_  
 _Living your end_  
 _Never seem to get in the place that I belong_  
 _Don't wanna lose the time_  
 _Lose the time to come_

Frank emerges from under the water and takes a deep breath. It’s Friday again, and he’s taking a bath because the water helps him forget. Every time he opens his eyes it feels like he’s waking up. When memories flood in, he tries to block them and goes back to his frozen state.

_Whatever you say it's alright_  
 _Whatever you do it's all good_  
 _Whatever you say it's alright_

This time, Mikey’s call makes him come back to reality.  
“Hey, Mikey,” he says evenly.  
“ _Gerard’s landlord told me to take his shit out of the apartment. Can you help me?_ ” Mikey sounds sad.  
“Sure,” Frank swallows. It’s all happening.

*****

Frank’s been in this apartment only once when Gerard threw a party for his birthday. It all seems so far away now when he’s walking up the stairs with Mikey by his side to a bunch of cardboard boxes waiting for them.  
“Are you sure you have enough space to take all this stuff?” Frank asks when they come inside and poke at random things.  
Mikey has never been a talker but now it’s twice as hard to make him say something. “Yep. Not that much anyway.”  
Frank walks in the kitchen and finds the first copy of the Architects CD. He’d completely forgotten to take it back then, but Gerard kept it lying next to the coffee machine on the table. Frank decides to make them coffee since they’re going to be here some time. “Mikey, do you want some coffee?”  
Mikey comes into the kitchen looking freaked out. “Man. There’s like hundreds of sketches of you, Andy, me, even guys from Skeleton.”  
Frank frowns. “Why’s that weird? He’s an artist.”  
“Go look for yourself. You’re his main muse.”  
Frank laughs. “Am I wearing clothes in those pictures?”  
“Most of them, yeah,” he hears Mikey say when he’s on his way to Gerard’s office.  
When he looks inside the room, it’s empty. The only trace of Gerard’s work is a sheet with panels scrawled in on the table. “There’s nothing in there!” Frank yells to Mikey.  
“He never works in the office. They’re in the bedroom,” comes Mikey’s distant voice.  
Frank shrugs. He goes to the bedroom and sees a completely different view. There’s clothes and towels on the floor, two cups with something furry inside them, and there’re pictures everywhere.  
Frank already saw some of them when Gerard sent him photos of his work, but he’s never seen the pictures Gerard drew with a sharpie. The stack of these sketches is sitting on the chair next to his bed, and Frank takes a closer look at the top one. It shows him himself sitting on the bench in Central Park and watching the sky. He was probably telling Gerard about his thoughts during that flight from Florida.  
Frank takes a deep breath. He needs coffee. And a cigarette. He takes the sketches with him to the kitchen and puts them on the table.  
Mikey rolls his eyes. “You can take them all if you want.”  
Frank looks at him wide eyed. “No. I just wanna look at them before we pack them away.”  
Mikey pours them coffee and finds a pack of cigarettes in the drawer.  
They drink and smoke and look at the pictures silently.  
There are a few of them that show nothing but advertisement logos. Only they are bolder and nastier. Like a reaction of a person who can’t shield his brain from the stream of useless information that’s been thrown at him with all the media surrounding him.  
“Maybe he wasn’t ready yet,” Frank wonders tracing the lines on the picture. “Maybe it all was too much for him and he snapped.”  
Mikey rummages around the stack and digs out two pictures, putting them on the top of the pile. “Even for this?”  
In the first picture, there are Frank and Andy sitting on the couch and reading a board book. In the other, there’s Frank lying on the bed with his eyes closed and his mouth open, his chest tattoos on display. It doesn’t show anything lower than his waist but it doesn’t take an expert to know what’s going on.  
Frank turns the second picture face down and glares at Mikey. “I don’t need to see these pictures together, okay?”  
Mikey shrugs. “He does. He can’t separate one image from the other. He loves you when he’s watching you reading a book with you daughter, and he loves you when…”  
“Okay, I get it,” Frank interrupts him. Then he frowns. “You said he loves me.”  
Mikey nods. “You shouldn’t doubt it even for a second. He really does.”  
“Then why…” Frank can’t say it but he hopes Mikey understands.  
He does. “Because he’s a moron? I didn’t understand him before but after we’d had this fight, it all cleared out. I know he’s trying to prove something being out there, and he doesn’t get it yet, that he has to be here to do it.”  
Frank shakes his head. “What am I supposed to do?”  
Mikey hides his eyes. “I called Tokyo. His boss said he did show up at the social service station. He started a fight with someone, abandoned his apartment and then they found his car in the forest not far from the river that leads to the village he’d been living in.”  
“Oh,” Frank says.  
“I’m not sure he’s coming back, Frank. He’s a crazy unpredictable bastard, but you can’t just wait for him forever.”

*****

**02/20/14**

“Gerard, wake up. You’ve got visitors.” Gerard cracks his eye open and groans. The pain is releasing his muscles but he’s still too weak to walk without support.  
“I have no one here to visit me, Jango.” He raises his head though. He’s lying in the hammock stretched between two trees near Jango’s hut and can hear the soothing sounds of village life.  
Jango laughs softly. “She’s been coming here to see you every fortnight.” He raised his head and points to a couple of tails swinging from the tree.  
Gerard rubs his eyes and blinks a few times. “Is that…” he trails off.  
“The jaguar you saved, that’s her. She’s a friend of mine. She’s been hanging around the village for a few years.”  
Gerard frowns. “Who does the second tail belong to?” Jango winks at Gerard. “Her boyfriend?” Jango nods. “Hey, asswipe, you did a crappy job at protecting your woman, you know that?” His voice is hoarse, and he’s about to start a coughing fit, but he has so much to say. “If I were your girlfriend, I would have dumped you. Do you hear me?”  
Jango is laughing out loud now, leaning back and forth, and holding his stomach from shaking too much. “He’s been her mate for the last five years. I don’t think he’s afraid of your judgment.”  
Gerard makes an angry face at him. “Well he should be.”  
Jango sits down on the ground next to his hammock and puts a hand on his leg. “How are you feeling? Are you thirsty?”  
Gerard feels his throat. “No. Not really. But I’m so tired of lying here and doing nothing, Jango. All I can think of is my family, my Frank being out there, thinking I left them.”  
Jango narrows his eyes at him. “I saw your pictures. You like this Frank very much, do you?”  
Gerard blushes. “Well, I’m in love with him. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He lets his grown-out hair cover his eyes and picks at the threads of his hammock.  
Jango rubs his chin. “But you can’t have children together. How is your love going to continue?”  
Gerard sighs. “He already has a beautiful daughter. And I think we’re going to figure it out,” he sighs again. “If he’s ever going to forgive me.”  
“Are you going to forgive yourself?” Jango asks.  
Gerard looks at Jango with uncertain look. “May I? May I forgive myself?”  
Jango shrugs. “That’s what you must decide for yourself, Gerard.” He stands up. “You won’t be able to leave the village for one full moon cycle yet. Take your time and find your way to happiness.”

*****

“You look so much better, Frank. Are you sleeping well?” Doctor Carter asks when Frank takes his usual place across from him.  
Frank shrugs. “I do, but it’s a part of the routine. I wake up, I wake up Andy, we go through the day together, I sometimes take her to the studio, but I’m not doing much work there now. We signed the Wedding Gig but I don’t see any prospects for them anymore.”  
“Do you know why you feel that way, Frank?” He asks this question every time Frank mentions about his lack of productivity.  
He sighs. “Because I’m not happy anymore. That’s why I think.”  
“Does Andy make you happy?” Doctor Carter never asked him about Andy.  
“Of course!” Frank leans forward. “She’s the brightest thing in my entire life.”  
“Then why can’t you enjoy it? Not many parents have a chance to spend so much time with their kid. You’re a very fortunate man.”  
Frank looks up on the ceiling. “Because I still can’t get over Gerard. I still feel miserable and drained of energy.” He looks Doctor Carter in the eyes. “I still love him.”  
Doctor Crater holds his look. “Can you still love him and be happy without him?”  
Frank frowns. “Can I? How do you see that happening, doc? I just put pictures of him all over my house and just pretend he’s at work all the time?”  
“Does your heart need his pictures? What does it tell you? Why don’t you listen to it, Frank?”

*****

Frank is sitting with Andy in the living room. He’s angry. He tried to listen to some music, but it annoyed him even more. Andy is watching him quietly and plays with her drum sticks. Frank can’t believe she’s such a nice kid who watches patiently as her daddy tries to get a hold of himself. She is his anchor while she is supposed to be a cranky infant. Suddenly Frank feels guilty because he realizes she wants him to be happy.  
He stands up and crawls up on his knees to her chair, kisses her forehead softly and whispers "I'm sorry."  
She blinks.  
"I didn't mean to put you through this."  
She keeps watching him silently.  
Frank reaches for his guitar and starts playing some music that comes to his mind. He understands now that it wasn't Gerard who woke him up. It was himself being ready to live again. And the music feels really good to play and sing even now.  
When his fingers thrum and his throat hurts, he is satisfied. He casts a glance at Andy and sees her sound asleep. He kisses her head. “My guardian angel,” he whispers and strokes her feet.  
She sneezes adorably and moves her feet a little. Frank chuckles and curls up in a ball on the floor and falls asleep too.

*****

**03/17/14**

Frank’s on the phone with his mother listening for the tenth time how proud she was of him and that he should agree to start that tour with his bands because it’s going to be very refreshing and new for him. He already knows all that but starting a tour means spending a lot of time on the road, and Andy is too young to travel that much.  
His mom promises to look after her and even bring Andy to see him when there is a chance. Frank knows that too. He looks at Andy and wonders if she’s strong enough to take care of herself without him constantly watching her.  
He thanks Linda for her kindness and support and promises to think about it. He ends the call and steps closer to Andy. “So, what do you think? Can you watch for your grandma while I’m pretending to be a rock star?”  
Andy gives him a toothy grin and taps the crayon against the table she’s sitting at. Frank bought her a set of crayons for kids with rubber toys on the ends so she wouldn’t choke on them and very bitter taste of the coloring bar. Andy already tried to lick it but by the way she wrinkled her nose and whined Frank knew she wouldn’t try to do it again. She is a very smart kid.  
He also bought her a small table where she could sit and draw because it became her favorite way of spending time, and Frank could take the table to the studio and look after her while working on the songs for the Skeleton Crew musical.  
Linda worries that Andy could push away the table top and crawl wherever she wanted on the floor, but Frank’s been watching her for a few weeks, and she never made an attempt to get out and crawl away. If she wanted to get somewhere, she just called for her daddy and reached her hands to him.  
“Okay, honey,” Frank sits down on the floor next to her table and kisses her forehead. “I’m going to the terrace and sit there. You can see me through that door,” he points at the open screen door to the terrace. She’s in the kitchen, so Frank will hear her if she calls for him. “If you need anything, just call me, okay?”  
She looks at him with understanding eyes and smiles. “Oh, god, I love you so much,” he kisses her head again and stands up. Andy doesn’t give him another look and keeps on drawing. Frank slowly walks out onto the terrace and lights a cigarette sitting down on the floor.  
He’s already made a decision to arrange that tour and maybe even perform a few songs as a part of his own project, but the main performer of his songs will be the Wedding Gig. The audience already loves them, and the musical will attract more listeners because of the dynamic format of the show.  
But he can’t stop worrying about Andy. He hasn’t spent more than a week without her, and even then she was in the same neighborhood. He puts out his cigarette and swings his legs down on the ground.  
It’s very peaceful and quiet outside and he closes his eyes for a minute enjoying the light breeze ruffling his hair.  
Suddenly, he hears loud irregular bangs against the floor and his heart sinks down his stomach from fear. His body freezes for a second and when he can move again, he turns his head and sees Andy standing beside him on the terrace and beaming at him.  
He lets out a breath and draws her in a hug. “Baby, you scared the…oh, out of me.” He looks at her and opens his mouth unable to say anything. In a minute, he recovers from the shock and squeaks. “Look at you! You’re walking!”  
Andy giggles and reaches out to hug her daddy again.

*****

“Okay,” Jango lets go of Gerard’s hand and watches him walk by himself. “You’re still recovering, but I think you can go home now.”  
Gerard looks at his bony legs and shakes his head. “How long do I have to exercise to get some meat on these bones?”  
Jango laughs. “You know you’re always welcome here. We have a wonderful training program.”  
Gerard sticks his palm out. “No, thank you. I think I’ll pass this time.” He looks at the tree where the jaguars usually hang out. There’s only one tail. “Where’s her boyfriend? I haven’t seen his lazy snout for a while.”  
Jango puts his hand on Gerard’s shoulder. “He comes and goes anytime he wants or if she lets him. She wouldn’t let him stay if there’s a cub. I don’t think he minds.”  
Gerard chews on his lips. “I really need to get going.”  
Jango nods. “We will take you to the bus station a few miles down the river. You will be in the City by the end of the day. But be careful. This infection you got, if people from your world don’t know about it yet, they might be scared.”  
Gerard rubs his neck. It still hurts a little. “Do we know how to treat it?”  
Jango shrugs. “I’m not sure. But this is not a dangerous infection. People should not die of it, but it messes up our water balance. You have to keep a balance between not enough and too much.”  
Gerard nods. “Okay, I get it. When are we leaving?”  
“Tomorrow at sunrise. You should probably clean yourself a little.” Jango takes a feather out of Gerard’s hair.  
In the morning of the next day, Gerard is standing on the boat that’s taking him away from the village. He sees the cat watching him from a small hill. He waves goodbye to her and turns around. He’s got a long way home in front of him.

*****

In Macondo City no one pays Gerard any attention. His jeans are handmade shorts now, his chucks are still good on his feet, while his socks are gone, but he feels very confident in his outfit when he walks to the service counter at the airport and asks for a phone charger.  
A smiling lady checks his ticket and hands him the charger, reminding him that the boarding time for his flight is in twenty five minutes.  
Gerard’s heart flutters in his chest and he runs to the nearest outlet and plugs his phone in. The screen is black for a few maddening minutes but here he sees the welcoming screen and the password entry panel. He quickly authorizes and waits until the phone registers in the mobile network.  
When he’s connected, he speed dials Mikey.  
It takes Mikey a while before he answers. “ _Gee?_ ”  
“Oh, god, Mikey, I…I don’t know where to start.” Gerard tugs at his dirty hair and grimaces at the greasy trace it leaves on his fingers. Jango loaned him one of his t-shirts. It’s bright and sunny, and Gerard wipes his hand against it.  
“ _Why don’t you start with where you are,_ ” Mikey finally answers.  
Gerard looks around the airport and shoves his hand in his hair again. “In the airport. I’m still in Macondo, but I’m taking off in a few minutes and I need you to meet me at JFK in the morning.”  
Mikey snorts. “ _Oh, is that all?_ ”  
Gerard sinks on the floor and covers his mouth with his hand. “It’s not the right time to explain, Mikes. I promise I’ll tell you everything. Just meet me at the airport, okay?”  
Mikey clears his throat. “ _What about Frank?_ ”  
Gerard digs his fingernails in his arm painfully. “Please don’t tell him anything, I’m begging you. Not yet.”  
Mikey sighs. “ _Okay. Anything else?_ ”  
Gerard smiles. “I missed you.” He hangs up, because people have started gathering at the gate.

*****

Everything looks fine and goes smoothly at the US customs until the officer asks Gerard how long he’d been in Macondo.  
Gerard’s eyes search for any clues.  
“Sir? Is there a problem?” The officer asks.  
Gerard feels helpless. “I don’t know? About three months?” He tries to sneak a peek at the monitor behind the officer’s back. “What day is today?”  
The officer looks taken aback but he says a code word in his headset and clears Gerard’s passport. “Please, follow the security officer, Mr. Way. And welcome to the United States.”  
Gerard takes his passport back and works hard not to roll his eyes. “Sure.”  
Another officer with a weapon on his waist leads him to an interview room and leaves him to sit there alone until a man in a suit and a nurse come in.  
“Good morning, Mr. Way. Welcome back home.” The man says but Gerard can’t keep his eyes away from the nurse and the tool box she’s about to open.  
“Yeah, whatever,” Gerard says eyeing the nurse.  
The man stands in the way and hides the nurse behind his back. “My name is Michael Harris, I am the head of the airport security team.”  
Gerard looks up at him. “I’m good with John Smith too. What do you want? I don’t know anything about Macondo military equipment. I spent most of the time in the jungle.”  
Mr. Harris moves out of the way and Gerard sees the nurse holding an elastic band and a needle. “You have a choice, Mr. Way. We can take you to the hospital and run a standard test panel which we use in cases when we suspect a possible infection or you can let us take one sample of your blood here.”  
Gerard turns away from the nurse and wrinkles his nose. “I hate choices.” He lifts his arm on the table though and lets the nurse pierce his skin.  
When it’s all done, Gerard is panting and sweating.  
“You can go to the lobby, Mr. Way,” Mr. Harris gestures to the door.  
“How long does it take?” Gerard stands up, pressing a cotton wad to his forearm.  
“Just a few minutes, it’s a very simple test, Mr. Way,” the nurse informs him and the two of them disappear in the long passageway.  
Gerard calls Mikey. “Hey, Mikey. Are you here already?”  
“ _Yeah_ ,” Mikey answers, “ _Where are you?_ ”  
Gerard shrugs. “In the US, but I didn’t make it any more than a few steps. They led me to a separate room and took my blood. With a needle, Mikey!”  
Mikey chuckles. “ _They do it to everyone who was in Macondo in December._ ”  
Gerard chokes. “What? Is it because of the infection?”  
Mikey’s silent for a few seconds. “ _Yeah. Do you know anything about it? One guy actually died of it. The one I’ve told you about, from Singapore._ ”  
“Do they know how to treat it?” Gerard’s hands start shaking.  
“ _It was only that one guy who got sick. They just didn’t have a chance to research it,_ ” Mikey’s voice is low and steady, but Gerard knows he uses this voice to hide his worry. “ _Gee?_ ”  
“I’m not sick, Mikey,” Gerard spits out. “I’ve had it. That’s why I’ve been away for so long and couldn’t contact you before.” Gerard walks to the window and looks outside. There’s nobody there, he’s in the closed airport area. “I’ve gotta do something, Mikes. They have to let me go.”  
“ _Are you crazy?_ ” Mikey whispers angrily. “ _Just wait for the results and do what they tell you to do._ ”  
“No way!” Gerard searches for the security cameras and finds none. “This infection, it’s not contagious, I won’t hurt anybody. But they’ll poke needles in my body and strap me to the gurney if I resist.” He sneaks to the door and tries to open it. “The door is unlocked. I need to get out of here.”  
“ _Gee,_ ” Mikey warns. “ _You’ll make it only worse._ ”  
Gerard closes the door and tip-toes in the direction of the arrival area, where Mikey’s supposed to wait for him. “I don’t fucking care. I have to see Frank. He has to hear it from me.”  
Mikey groans. “ _Are you sure you’re not dangerous?_ ”  
Gerard sees two security guards and hides between the vending machines. In spite of the lack of training, he didn’t lose his agility, and it encourages him even more. “I swear to you, Mikey. I would be the one asking them to lock me up if I wasn’t one hundred percent sure.”  
“ _Okay. What do you want me to do?_ ” Mikey gives up.  
Gerard crawls under the row of plastic chairs and makes his way right to the doors where he already sees people waiting for their friends and relatives to arrive. “I’m walking out. Try to find me. Okay?”  
Gerard didn’t mean to, but he disconnects the call. He can already hear the sound of the security siren somewhere at the customs area and he knows he’s out of time.  
He climbs out from under the chairs and rushes through the doors and outside. He’s met by the warm stream of different smells and sounds, and there are people everywhere. He can see a police officer speaking into her walkie-talkie and she’s looking at him.  
Gerard runs a few steps to the center of the hall and yells. “Mikey! Mikey, where are you?” People start glancing at him but keep walking past.  
“Gee! Over here!” He hears Mikey’s voice just a few yards away.  
Gerard turns and now sees him running towards him, distress written all over his face. “Mikey!” he runs too and hugs his brother with all the strength he’s got. “Mikey, thank god.” He strokes Mikey’s back and leans away. “We’ve got to get going.”  
Mikey wrinkles his nose. It’s a little red from the wind outside. “I think there might be a problem.” He looks past Gerard at several police officers surrounding them.  
Gerard stands in front of Mikey and yells. “Don’t come any closer!”  
People start looking and stop on their tracks to see what’s happening. Mr. Harris comes out in front of the officers and spreads his hands wide. “We’re not going to arrest you, Mr. Way. We just need to monitor you for a few days. Your test result was positive for traces of the infection that killed a man, but you must already know that.”  
“I don’t have this thing in me!” Gerard yells loud enough than he can be heard from the distance.  
“No, you don’t,” Mr. Harris agrees. “But you’re surprisingly immune to the bacteria samples we were sent from Singapore. The same bacteria…”  
“I know!” Gerard interrupts. “But if you don’t know about it, it doesn’t mean anyone who survived it has to be kept in quarantine.”  
“Then why don’t you help us explore it, Mr. Way? In the research center. As a US citizen you must understand it’s your direct responsibility.”  
People start muttering and throw Gerard suspicious looks.  
Gerard nods. “I will! I’m not refusing to help with the research. But there’s something I need to do first. There’s one person I’ve got to see…”  
“No civilians are allowed in the research center,” another man in a suit says.  
Gerard points his finger at him. “You see! And you expect me to wait until you lock me up and tell me what I can and cannot do? My responsibilities? What about my rights?”  
“Yeah,” a man from the crowd butts in. “Did you ask him first?”  
“Good going, brother. Looks like you’ve got a fan,” Mikey whispers.  
“I just hope it doesn’t get to Frank before I do,” Gerard whispers back. Then he raises his voice again. “I am an artist and I lived in Macondo. Yes, I’ve had this infection, but I’m fine now. And I am ready to tell you everything I know about it. It’s not dangerous. You just need to keep the water level in your body under control until the bacteria dies. That’s all. I know things will happen your way and you will take me away from people I love, but let me at least see them first.” Gerard’s voice cracks. “Please,” he manages before launching into a coughing fit and sliding down to the floor.  
But he doesn’t need to say anything. People form a tight ring around them and demand to let Gerard see whoever he needs to see first. Mister Harris mentions something about national security but a woman with a young kid shuts him up and shoves an issue of the Umbrella Academy at him. “He’s a comic book writer!” she yells.  
“What do you say, Mikey?” Gerard asks when he’s able to talk again.  
Mikey purses his lips. “I think you’ve got them this time. There’s no one from the top to make a decision, and it’s so all over the internet right now.”  
“Good,” Gerard murmurs with a smile. He’s still lying on the floor.

*****

The only way they would agree to let Gerard visit Frank was if Mikey followed the officers and gave them all Gerard’s information. He will have to be his bailsman too.  
“A hostage,” Gerard yells, but Mikey reasons him.  
“They will get to us eventually. It’s better that it’s me and not mom or pop, right? Go get your man,” Mikey whispers in his ear and draws him in a hug. “I’m glad you’re okay.”  
Gerard watches them lead Mikey away and then feels a hand closing up around his arm. He jerks but the arm is strong. It’s a police officer Gerard didn’t see before. “Come on, Mr. Way. Where do you want to go?”  
He leads him out of the airport to a police car and pushes Gerard into the backseat. The driving officer is an annoyed looking lady with blood-red lipstick and chewing gum in her mouth.  
Gerard stares at her in the wing mirror for a while but shakes his head eventually and leans against the side door to look out of the window.  
It’s early in the morning; and the sun is slowly rising above the horizon and its rays reach Gerard’s eyes making him squint and smile.  
The lady turns on the radio and, when she finds the station she likes, turns up the volume.

_On the corner of main street_  
 _Just tryin' to keep it in line_  
 _You say you wanna move on and_  
 _You say I'm falling behind_  
 _Can you read my mind?_  
 _I never really gave up on_  
 _Breakin' out of this two-star town_  
 _I got the green light_  
 _I got a little fight_  
 _I'm gonna turn this thing around_  
 _Can you read my mind?_

It’s the Killers’ _'Read my mind'_ playing, and it’s making Gerard smile wider. The woman winks at him in the mirror, and he has to close his eyes because he can’t hold the overwhelming joy bursting inside his chest. Nothing can stop him from being free and happy now.

_The good old days, the honest man;_  
 _The restless heart, the Promised Land_  
 _A subtle kiss that no one sees;_  
 _A broken wrist and a big trapeze_  
 _Oh well I don't mind, if you don't mind_  
 _'Cause I don't shine if you don't shine_  
 _Before you go, can you read my mind?_

*****

Frank’s chasing Andy around the house to wash her face before breakfast, and she’s squeaking and laughing and slipping away whenever he catches her. Frank’s glad that she’s walking on her own feet now but he didn’t expect her to be so independent at this early age.  
“Okay,” he gives up, panting, “how about I hold you under the faucet and you…”  
He’s interrupted by a knock on the door. Andy stares at him wide eyed and surprised.  
Frank frowns. It’s too early for visitors. He sighs. “Okay. You wait for me in the living room, okay?” he takes her by the hand and leads her to the living room. Once there, he lifts her on the couch and grabs the remote. “Do you want to watch some movies?” he asks nodding at the screen. She beams and clasps her hands. “Okay, Peanuts it is.”  
Frank knows that Snoopy can hold Andy’s attention for more than an hour so he has time to deal with the unwanted guests, but he’s angry at whoever it is anyway. Who do they think they are?  
He opens the door and sees a man standing a few feet away with his back to the porch and wringing his hands nervously. “Gerard?”  
Gerard turns and smiles at him. “Frankie,” he says on a breath. There is mold in his hair, he lost all the weight he had, he looks like a skeleton with pale, scratched skin and hollow eyes. He is gorgeous.  
Frank frowns at his own revelations. “What are you…How did you…” there’s a police car waiting at the curb, and a very smug looking woman watching them through the open window. It’s cold outside, and Frank shivers. “What’s going on?” he wraps his arms around his middle and takes a step forward.  
Gerard’s wearing ridiculous shorts and a yellow t-shirt with Quetzalcoatl on it, and he doesn’t seem to feel cold at all. “Frankie, I’m so happy to see you.” Gerard’s not moving, just staring at Frank with tenderness.  
Frank swallows. “Yeah, I’m glad at least one of us enjoys it. Bye, Gerard.” He goes to close the door, and Gerard makes pleading eyes and reaches his hands to him but he’s not moving forward. “Why are you here?” Frank finally finds the right question.  
“I wanted to see you before they lock me up,” Gerard answers and falls silent again. It looks like he’s enjoying just looking at Frank.  
Frank rolls his eyes. “Okay, you saw me, bye.” He turns away, but he knows he’s not going anywhere.  
“Wait, Frankie!” Gerard sounds more alert than before. “I needed to see you before they take me away because I have to tell you by myself. I don’t want you to just hear it from Mikey or read on the internet. It just has to be me, you know.”  
Frank shakes his head. “No, I really don’t.”  
Gerard turns to look at the officers waiting in the car and sighs. “Okay,” he looks like he’s gathering his thoughts. “I found an injured jaguar in my dumpster. They would have killed me and sold her to the poachers if I brought her to the police. I had to take her to Jango’s village. My cell phone ran out of charge and I didn’t have time to find an adapter.” Gerard’s voice becomes barely audible. “Didn’t need it in the jungle anyway.” He looks Frank in the eyes. “She could have died, Frankie!”  
Frank feels like he’s an asshole here. “So you took her to the jungle?” Gerard nods eagerly. “On your own?”  
“Well, yeah, but we were chased by a hunter. I’m not really sure. I think he was eaten by a very angry anaconda. I dropped her in the water after she tried to attack me…” Gerard trails off. It’s adorable to watch him searching for the lost thread of thought. “But I’ve been thinking of you all the time. Every waking hour I’ve been wondering what you were doing or… Oh, god, I love you so much, Frankie.”  
Frank wants to smile but he can’t. “Three months, Gerard.”  
Gerard is fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt and it rises up, revealing what’s left of his stomach. “I got sick, Frankie.” Gerard winces. “it shouldn’t sound as bad as it does, and I uh…I don’t know how to say this.”  
Frank’s throat tightens. “Are you going to be okay?”  
Gerard shakes his head vigorously. “That’s not even a question. I am absolutely all right in every possible way.”  
“Except for your head, you mean,” Frank quips.  
Gerard nods, but when the remark sinks in, he smiles. “I wish I could have called you, Frank. I was unconscious for a month and then I couldn’t move and…” he hangs his head and makes a helpless gesture.  
Frank almost believes him. “What are the police doing here?”  
Gerard turns around and waves at the woman. She gives him a thumbs-up. “Yeah,” Gerard turns to Frank. “They took Mikey as a hostage so I couldn’t run away.”  
Frank raises an eyebrow. “What?”  
Gerard waves his hand. “Mikey will tell you.” He bends his head to the side and whimpers. “I’m sorry for thinking about the animal first instead of you and Andy. I should have…”  
“Shut up, Gerard!” Frank snaps. “I wasn’t gonna marry you or something. You don’t have to think about us first thing in the morning!”  
Gerard looks like somebody has taken something that belonged to him, but he had no idea about it until it was taken away.

*****

**03/26/14**

It's been a week since Frank saw Gerard on his doorstep, but his mind still refuses to believe in Gerard's story about Macondo.  
The strangest thing is that nothing has changed inside him. He doesn't feel any pain or the fear of the tiny possibility of giving Gerard a second chance. Instead, his heart flutters and swells at the mere thought of Gerard, and he can't suppress a goofy smile stretching his lips. It’s like his body already knew what was supposed to happen, like it never gave up on Gerard and just waited patiently until he dropped by.  
That is one disturbing thing. The other one, even more disturbing, is that Frank wants to believe Gerard. It is so easy to just accept his apologies, forgive him, and let him back into their lives as if nothing ever happened. But he needs proofs.  
With nothing else popping up in mind, he grabs his phone and dials Mikey.  
Mikey visited Gerard a day or two ago. He texted Frank from the center they put Gerard in and said it looked like a good hotel with unbreakable glass instead of windows. A civilized prison he called it.  
" _Hello?_ " Mikey sounds sleepy.  
"Mikes, I need your help," Frank's mind is already forming a plan. His brain is good at planning.

*****

Mikey knows better than knock after nine p.m. but Frank leaves the door slightly open anyway. He is pacing nervously in the living room, bending his fingers at impossible angles.  
Mikey slips inside the house and closes the door. "I suppose you want me to sit with Andy while you, you loony dork, drive across the state to see my loony dork brother," he stands in the doorway of the living room and crosses his arms over his chest.  
Frank shrugs. "Unless you have any objections or swore on bible not to tell anyone his whereabouts or something.”  
Mikey snorts so loud Frank thinks it might hurt and wrinkles his nose. "If I had any issues with that I wouldn't have been here." He looks at Frank seriously. "It looks like he’s telling the truth. Doctors confirmed that he'd spent last few months in the jungle eating mostly fruits and vegetables. He even suffered from several infections but people he lived with knew what they were doing. Also, they found a trace of unknown bacteria in his immune system, the same one that killed that guy, and now they have a vaccine, but it’s a nasty looking disease, because it makes you bleed from everywhere and your muscles hurt for months and you can’t walk, you can’t talk…" Mikey rubs the back of his neck, a very rare gesture of his, which means he’s at a loss for words. "I don't know. You have every reason to tell him to fuck off, but..." he looks at Frank intently, "I don't think that's what you want."  
Frank’s stomach does a flip flop and he feels hot blood fill his heart and then burst from it to the main artery with excitement.  
"No, that's not what I want," he presses his lips together to hide a smile.  
Mikey shakes his head, an all-knowing look on his face. "Visitors are not allowed, except for the family. And it's kind of late anyway." He sits on the couch and stretches a little, enjoying Frank’s impatience and his complete loss of options to do something about it. "They have a terrace though. He's allowed to go there and have a smoke. It looks right at the lighthouse at the bay."  
Frank nods slowly. "Can you tell me the exact address?"  
Mikey narrows his eyes. "No. They didn’t give me one, just sent the coordinates. I might not have deleted it from my navigator," Mikey looks meaningfully at Frank. Your car needs repair, take mine."  
Frank wants to kiss Mikey and strangle him in a hug. Instead, he just communicates his gratefulness through the most honest look he can manage and reaches his hand for a key. "Andy's sleeping. The intercom is on, you should hear if anything's wrong." Frank nods at the receiver. "I should be back by seven."  
"You definitely should," Mikey hands the key and holds Frank’s hand for a second longer. "They let him keep his phone, so...call him okay? Don't just stand there and watch him smoke."  
Frank nods. "I will."

*****

Once Frank manages to pass the Newark jam, the road clears out and he relaxes and looks at the stars in the night sky. They are shining like crazy diamonds above him making him wish impossible things and what is even scarier, believe it can actually happen.

_All this feels strange and untrue_  
 _And I won't waste a minute without you_  
 _My bones ache, my skin feels cold_  
 _And I'm getting so tired and so old_

Driving along the highway, he’s listening to the radio and can’t remember the moment when he felt himself less alone in his entire life. He is happy.

_The anger swells in my guts_  
 _And I won't feel these slices and cuts_  
 _I want so much to open your eyes_  
 _'Cause I need you to look into mine_

There is a plane flying above him, and he imagines himself out there in the sky watching the lights of the cities, watching his car and its headlights, and then nothing seems important anymore.

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes_  
 _Tell me that you'll open your eyes_  
 _Tell me that you'll open your eyes_  
 _Tell me that you'll open your eyes_

The drive through deserted streets in the middle of the night is pretty unnerving but as soon as he notices the welcoming blinking of the lighthouse, his hands stop shaking and he turns right towards it spotting a nice place to park.  
The first thing Frank notices as he opens the door is the light breeze coming from the bay and he hears soft murmur of the waves. He thinks that the place knew he was coming here.  
That is probably just his wishful thinking but he feels a lot better anyway. The security cameras are on, but since nobody stopped him yet, Frank decides to go further in his quest for Gerard and not to think about what consequences it will have.  
He walks toward the lighthouse and looks around. Just across the bay, there is a seven-floored building with a terrace on the roof. Since it's the only building that doesn’t look like a private residence, Frank decides that is the one where they are keeping Gerard.  
There is a flash of memories about a fairy-tale where prince charming saves his princess from the castle, but Frank pushes the thought away immediately. Gerard isn't a prisoner, and it’s not like he has any reasons to believe Frank is going to come and save him.  
Frank sighs and digs out the phone from his pocket. He lingers, feeling excited and nervous and wondering if Gerard will listen to him. And what is he supposed to say anyway? He needs to be sure, but of what?  
And then the doubt creeps in and it doesn't seem like such a good idea to come here anymore. But he can't just drive away. There is no going back without talking to Gerard. He owes himself that much.  
Gerard answers after the tenth maybe twelfth ring. His voice is groggy and thick with sleep.  
" _Hello?_ " He also didn't check the caller ID.  
"Hi, Gee, it's Frank."  
There is a pause. Frank thinks Gerard is checking the number now which makes him smile.  
" _Hey, Frankie,_ " his voice becomes gentle but Frank can't help but notice the nervous note in it.  
"Hi," he says again. "Mikey said you're doing fine," Frank cringes. Mikey didn't say that exactly. "But I decided to make sure you're alright by myself."  
" _Yeah,"_ there is a ruffling sound, _"I kinda am, but the bed feels too soft and I have to sleep on the floor. And the air isn't moist enough and I feel like an alien in a completely normal environment._ "  
Frank sighs. "Did they tell you how long they're going keep you there?"  
" _Um, three weeks, which means I have only two left. If nothing dangerous pops up, I'm free to go. Can you imagine? They would be happy to prosecute me for something but it seems like I'm the victim here_."  
"Did you tell them about the cat?"  
" _God, no. They will lock me in a madhouse. I told them I was just visiting a friend, that’s all._ "  
"What you said at my house...Did you mean it?" Frank swallows a lump in his throat, willing his lips to move. "I just have to know, Gee. Please, don't play with me like that."  
" _Of course, I mean, yes. Yes, I did, Frankie! Every fucking word. I...I don't know what I was thinking setting out to the jungle like that, I mean, I remember thinking about how proud you will be of me, how it will prove I'm a good person, and I was sure you'd understand and support me because how could I do it differently?_ "  
Frank nods. "I understand." There is a pause. He thought Gerard was going to explode with gratefulness but he felt silent. "I understand. And I do support your decision. It was hell the first two months, but I needed that time to find myself again. I know that I can do anything I want and I know I want only the best for me and Andy. And I would find a hard time understanding you if you didn't do what you did. If that's true, which is still so unbelievable." Gerard makes a sound like he wants to say something but Frank beats him to it. "But I choose to believe you. I want to give you everything you ask me to and I want everything you have to offer."  
" _Oh, Frankie. I love you so much,_ " Gerard is crying, so Frank sees no reason not to cry too.  
"I love you too, Gee,” he weeps.  
They cry like that for a few minutes, and then Gerard suddenly asks. “ _Where are you, Frankie? I think I can hear the sound of the waves._ ”  
Frank shrugs. “Well, yeah. I wanted to see you so I just drove here.”  
“ _Like, right here?_ ” Gerard squeaks.  
“Yeah, I’m at the lighthouse. Just across the bay,” the wind is getting stronger, and Frank has to step closer to the brick building.  
“ _I have to see you,_ ” Gerard sounds determined.  
“Please don’t do anything stupid,” Frank pleads.  
“ _Don’t worry, Frankie. I’ll just get on the roof and look at you from there._ ”  
“I don’t think you’ll see anything but the light,” Frank looks at the beacon right at the top of the construction.  
“ _I don’t need anything more than that._ ”  
They stand in silence, still connected on the phone, and pretending to see each other in the complete darkness of the night.  
“ _Frankie?_ ” Gerard speaks first.  
“Yeah?” Frank blinks sleepily. All this emotional hurricane is really exhausting.  
“ _When I went to your house that day, after I returned…_ ”  
“Yeah?” But he likes it.  
“ _You said you weren’t going to marry me._ ”  
“Um,” Frank raises an eyebrow.  
“ _Will you marry me, Frankie?_ ”

*****

**04/11/2014**

“Frank?” Gerard pushes the front door open and peeks inside the hall. “Frankie, are you home?” He walks in and closes the door behind him. “The door is open,” Gerard says to the empty space in front of him. “I wanted to call you but my phone died and I didn’t want to disturb you or anything…” They agreed the day before that Gerard would go straight to Frank’s house after they release him; they would talk and then, maybe, they would go and see Mikey together. “Frank, is everything okay?” Gerard takes a step forward looking around and heading straight to the kitchen. He hopes to find Frank playing with Andy in the backyard. It is a warm sunny day after all.  
But he doesn’t get a chance to go any further though because Frank comes up the stairs from the basement with a heap of dry laundry in his hands. “Gee, you’re here.” He drops the heap of towels and sheets on the floor and wipes his palms against the sides of his pants instinctively. “I thought you’d be here in the evening. I was expecting your call.” He is wearing an old t-shirt, almost transparent from many washings, and very loose jeans which let Gerard reconnect his eyes with Frank’s tattoos on his hips.  
Gerard swallows loudly. “Yeah, sorry. I must start using my phone properly. I thought you’d be sleeping or having breakfast with Andy or something,” he runs a hand through his tangled hair. “They let me go at dawn, and I couldn’t sleep last night so I played with my phone until its charge ran out and I didn’t have time to plug it in because it was already morning and I had to leave if I wanted to take the first bus home so...” Frank barks out a laugh and shakes his head, stepping closer to Gerard and studying his features intently. “Are you going to take those sheets off the floor?” Gerard asks when Frank doesn’t say anything after a few minutes of watching him.  
Frank wrinkles his nose and pushes away a strand of hair off Gerard’s face. “You look like Edward Scissorhands, with your hair so wild and a lonely look in your eyes.”  
Gerard chuckles and feels his face with his fingertips. “I think I still have some scratches from the forest on my face.” He rolls up his eyes in attempt to look at his hair but shrugs eventually. “I ran out of shampoo a week or two ago. They gave me these small bottles which I used up in the first two days trying to wash off all the dirt and old scars, and then I just kept forgetting to ask for more and had to wash my hair with soap.”  
Gerard’s hair looks like a stack of straw, and his face is chalk-white pale, and he’s as skinny as a skeleton. Johnny Depp was a chubby hamster when he played Edward if you put them next to each other. Frank frowns. “Are you sure you’re okay? I mean, you’re not sick or anything.”  
“No. I’m perfectly fine,” Gerard chews on his lips. “I just spent the last three weeks behind locked doors and I still feel like I’m not completely ready to get out there, you know.” Gerard’s shoulders are hunched up to his ears and he keeps rubbing his palms together and shifting his weight from foot to foot. He’s wearing loose jeans, dirty sneakers, a flannel shirt, and a black leather coat.  
Frank lets out a deep breath. “Come here, you dork,” he tugs him down by the collar of his shirt and snakes a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him into a tentative kiss. Gerard’s mouth tastes almost the same, maybe there is a hint of hesitation, but it’s gone the second Frank slips his tongue inside his mouth and presses their bodies together, pushing Gerard back until he hits the wall.  
Gerard groans with satisfaction and it seems like his whole body wakes up to action, like he received permission to launch, and now his hands are around Frank’s body, stroking and squeezing everywhere, his lips travelling across Frank’s face and neck looking for familiar spots, and he is trying to bring Frank even closer by curling his leg behind one of Frank’s.  
Frank doesn’t waste any time either. His hands get a mind of their own and are already unbuttoning the stupid green and white flannel shirt only to discover that Gerard, the dork, isn’t wearing any t-shirt under it. Frank’s dick jumps with excitement inside his pants, and his hands are really happy to feel Gerard’s bare chest under the scratchy material of the shirt. Gerard wheezes out something incoherent inside Frank’s mouth which Frank interprets as encouragement and lets his hands slide further down to unbuckle Gerard’s pants.  
Gerard hisses and manages to pull away a little while his hands and legs are still holding Frank close. “Where’s Andy?”  
“At my mom’s. They left early this morning,” Frank can’t recognize his own voice. It’s low and hoarse and his hands are trembling while working on the zipper of Gerard’s pants. “Why? D’ you wanna see her?”  
Gerard raises his head up and screws his eyes shut in anticipation of Frank’s hand on his cock, but there isn’t any. He opens his eyes and looks down at Frank only to find him stop completely whatever he’s been doing and looking at Gerard expectantly. Gerard remembers being asked a question. “Of course,” he tries to shake off the lust induced fog off his mind. “Maybe later though, like, tomorrow.”  
Frank snorts in his neck and, finally, shoves his hand down Gerard’s shorts. “Thought so,” he whispers to his collarbone and tugs down his pants, not all the way down, but enough to bare his ass and thighs. He purposely avoids his cock and strokes the tender and heated flesh around it instead. A few minutes later, Gerard starts sobbing and his body is shaking like it’s plugged into a high voltage outlet.  
Frank steps away a little and looks at him from head to toes. Gerard is still wearing all of his clothing including the coat, the flannel shirt, and even the pants that are hanging just above his knees. Frank’s head spins a little, and he feels his balls begging for release; however he resists the urge to give them a comfort squeeze.  
“Do you want anything?” he asks Gerard and watches not without pleasure as he’s trying to get a grasp of reality. He has to confess at least to himself that he loves this trait of Gerard’s that makes him loose his own borders and give in to the flow of feelings or events that happen around him. That’s why Gerard often finds himself in ridiculous situations, like on a boat with a wild animal or in Japan, or locked in a government research center, or even here, in Frank’s hall. He wouldn’t be Gerard if he didn’t have this trait. “Like, coke or maybe coffee?”  
“Coffee,” Gerard parrots absent-mindedly, “no, thank you. Maybe later,” he shakes his head and looks down at his exposed skin. “But I wouldn’t refuse a glass of water if you don’t mind,” he almost whispers. His hands are spread slightly, and all his body is waiting for Frank to do whatever he likes to him. Frank swallows with an effort.  
“Okay. You stay right here,” he’s looking Gerard in the eyes and acts like he’s giving him very important orders. “Take off your boots,” he looks down, “and your pants. Take off everything.” He watches Gerard nod and start pulling off his coat and the shirt. “Leave the shirt on, please. I’ll bring the water.”  
Gerard gives him a lopsided smile and there is a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Okay,” he rasps out.  
Frank turns around and goes to the kitchen, adjusting his pants on his way. His hands are shaking while he pours the water from a cooler and he has to clutch the glass very tight when he returns back in the hall and finds Gerard in the exact state he asked. He’s standing barefoot on the floor completely nude except for the green and white shirt, that covers his shoulders and sides, but allows Frank to see his bellybutton and a treasure trail, and Frank suddenly wants to drink all the water he brought.  
Frank reaches his hand to Gerard and leads him upstairs without another word. Once in the bedroom, he closes the curtains and pushes Gerard down on the bed. He gives him the water and starts undressing. He can’t help but watch Gerard from the corner of his eye feeling the other man’s gaze on his body.  
Once he’s free of clothes, he climbs up the bed and waits until Gerard gets comfortable on the pillows behind him. Frank sits between Gerard’s legs and strokes his belly and sides, playing with the loose threads of his shirt. “Um, I kinda wanted to ask you something.”  
Gerard nods sheepishly. “Go ahead.”  
Frank chews on his lips. “We already talked about it on the phone, but I need to know now. I need you to say it looking me in the eyes. If you want to wait, it’s okay. I know you’ve gone through a lot of things and…”  
Gerard puts a finger on his lips, and Frank kisses it. “I love you. I am so sorry I got into this and made you think…that I left you,” Gerard chokes on a breath but recovers quickly and wraps his hands around Frank’s. “I want to promise it’ll never happen again…”  
This time, Frank stops him. “I’m not asking for that, Gee. I know who you are now; I just want to make sure that you didn’t change your mind.”  
“Nothing’s gonna make me change it. You are my life.” Gerard’s hands are so warm and soft, Frank wants to press their skin together and kiss him already. But he has to say something too.  
Frank strokes Gerard’s knee. “I guess, we should have had this conversation while still wearing clothes, but maybe that’s even better. There is nowhere to hide, right? Um, I’m sorry I lost my heart and felt depressed instead of looking for you. You could have been here a long time ago had I believed in you.”  
Gerard lifts himself on his elbows and runs a hand along Frank’s cheek. “Frankie, it turned out just fine.” He puts a hand on his chest. “Look, I’m free, I’m alive, the cat is safe, and the bad guy is never gonna hurt her again. You forgave me and we’re about to have amazing sex. Is there anything else a man could ask for?”  
Frank doesn’t answer that question. Not particularly. He pounces at Gerard and attacks his mouth and everything else his lips and tongue and teeth can reach. Gerard wraps his legs around Frank’s sides and sighs contentedly when their groins finally collide.  
But that’s not what Frank wants today. He blindly reaches for the lube in the nightstand and slicks two fingers generously before pressing them inside Gerard’s hole. Gerard gasps for a breath when Frank breaches him but doesn’t ask him to stop and even rocks his hips up and down after a few minutes. Frank’s curling his fingers inside Gerard while doing the same with his tongue in his mouth when Gerard hisses and murmurs, “ready, come on.”  
He really doesn’t have to ask twice. Frank leans back and lets Gerard roll on a condom on him while slicking Gerard and then himself. Once satisfied with his work, he pushes Gerard’s thighs up and closer to his sides so Gerard is curled up like a pretzel. Then he lines himself up and pushes in in a long, fast move. Gerard grabs his own legs right next to where Frank’s hands are resting and pulls them further apart, taking a deep breath and rocking on his spine at the same time.  
Frank pulls away and pushes in again making an upswing with his hips and slamming his balls against Gerard’s already damp skin. “So fucking agile,” he says through gritted teeth and shifts his body weight on his hands that are still holding on Gerard’s thighs. Gerard makes an appreciative moan and lets go of his legs to hook his fingers around the headboard while Frank’s rocking inside of him with a steady rhythm. The sides of Gerard’s shirt has ridden up and crumpled under his shoulder blades but neither of them is willing to stop and remove it completely.  
Frank wonders, if he howls, will it make it easier for him to take the deliciousness of the state he’s in or he’s going to die from pleasure right the fuck now. He isn’t waking up anymore, he’s fully awake and horny and in so much pleasure it hurts, his head’s going to explode from overstimulation of the pleasure center and his body will disintegrate the second he shoots his load which, by the way, is going to happen any minute now, but something’s stopping him.  
There is a finger on his chest chasing a droplet of sweat and wiping it away. “Hey,” Frank hears Gerard say, and he realizes he’s squeezing his eyes shut with force. He opens them, and Gerard smiles at him, warm and intimately. “Come here,” Gerard whispers and tugs him down in a hug. Frank feels his forehead relax, and he lets out a long breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He buries himself in Gerard’s limbs and enjoys the sweaty slide of their skin while still fucking him good and hard.  
Frank comes soon after that, in a minute or two, while Gerard murmurs encouraging words in his ear. When he gently pulls out, he doesn’t waste any time and slides down Gerard’s body to swallow his cock, swirling his tongue around the sides, and pushes three fingers inside him at the same time. Gerard cries out in surprise, puts his hands in Frank’s hair, makes a couple of jerky movements with his hips, and comes apart in an instant, rocking between Frank’s throat and his fingers.  
Frank holds him down until the very last spasm, swallows everything that’s left in his mouth and then crawls up to kiss his lips.  
Gerard’s eyes are closed and his mouth is slightly open. “Fuck,” Gerard groans and rolls on the bed a little, still holding his legs in the air.  
Frank licks his cheek. “That’s right.” He stands up, gets rid of the rubber and crawls up the bed again, tugging the sheets over the both of them. “So,” he lies on his side and stares at Gerard’s relaxed and totally blown out face.  
“Still not here, Frankie,” Gerard puts a hand above his eyes and takes a deep breath. Frank nuzzles his neck and the open armpit. “Hey!” Gerard puts his arm down and blinks his eyes open. “Do you happen to have cigarettes?”  
“I do, but you’re not smoking in my bed,” Frank pokes him in the side with his finger.  
Gerard giggles and rolls on his side mirroring Frank. “Do you want to go downstairs? I left my backpack there with all my sketches of Macondo.”  
Frank kisses his swollen lips. “How about we make coffee first, have a smoke, then grab some food, your backpack, and return here so you can show me the sketches and then we could make love again?”  
Gerard smiles with all his body. “Yes to all.”

*****

They are sitting in bed in the crumbs of bread and cheese, and the smell of spilled coffee is still hanging in the air. Gerard is chewing on a piece of pear while Frank’s playing him the songs he’d written for the musical.  
“That is really good,” Gerard says, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.  
“The food or the music?” Frank asks, putting the guitar away.  
Gerard is silent for a second or two. “Both, of course. But I was talking about the music,” he moves closer to Frank and covers his now half clothed body with his own. They had to get dressed in case someone would suddenly feel the urge to look inside the windows while they were in the kitchen, and after that, in the bedroom, Frank just couldn’t catch the mood to eat naked on the bed. That is good too. Gerard is still wearing that stupid shirt and a pair of Frank’s sweats that look like dance tights on him and Frank pulled on his old clothes he’d left on the floor earlier. Frank squeezes Gerard’s ass and thinks about the last part of their entertainment program when Gerard interrupts his train of thought. “Are you going to sing any of these songs?”  
Frank curses mentally. “I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet. Maybe I should talk to Dewees, see what we can do together. I prefer working in tandem.”  
Gerard frowns. “Won’t I ruin your tandem with Andy then? Like, it wouldn’t be the two of you anymore?”  
Frank rolls his eyes. “I think we should squeeze you in.” He thinks it’s a rhetorical question anyway but Gerard remains thoughtful. “Hey, we’re not talking about making an album here, dummy. We’re talking about starting a family. Together. And we want you here. I mean me and Andy. I know she loves you.”  
Gerard smiles dreamily. “I love her too. And you. Both of you.”  
“Will you show me the pictures of me you made in the jungle?” Frank feels bubbles in his stomach.  
“Yeah,” Gerard looks at the window. “Maybe we should pull the blinds up, it’s kinda dark here.”  
Frank makes a disgruntled face but stands up while Gerard reaches for his backpack. He would have to just stand up again and pull them down later when he’s done admiring Gerard’s work.

*****

It appears that there are not only pictures of Frank in Gerard’s sketchbook. There is the cat, a few pictures of Jango and other villagers. The most repeated images, beside Frank, of course, are sunrises and sunsets. Looking at the pictures, Frank can feel Gerard’s love for that place, how lonely he was out there but at the same time how great it made him feel inside. Like, he wasn’t a man anymore, but a part of that place, a pure spirit that arises at dawn and fades away at dusk.  
Frank looks out of the window. The spring sun has warmed up the ground, and the wind isn’t that merciless anymore. He can walk out of the house and take a deep breath. He wants to.  
“Hey, Gee?”  
“Yes?” Gerard strokes his jaw and puts away the sketchbook. “What is it?”  
“Do you still have that offer for a new comic book? You said they suggested you move to California to work closely with a co-author.”  
Gerard nods. “Yeah. I remember. The offer still stands, but I convinced them I could visit my co-author once in a while since he doesn’t like flying but we agreed I stay here, in Jersey. Why?”  
Frank shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe we should move there? When my tour’s over.”  
Gerard hums and hugs Frank from behind. Frank’s sitting with his back pressed to Gerard’s chest while the other man is leaning against the headboard. “Someone’s feeling adventurous, aren’t we?”  
Frank blushes and moves away a little. “Just thinking.”  
“I’ll tell you what,” Gerard tugs him closer again and kisses his temple. “We stay here for the summer and then, if you’re still up for it, we can move there and see where it’ll get us. What do you say?”  
Frank feels the bubbles inside his stomach again. “Sounds like a plan.”

*****

**Three months later**

Gerard steps up the kitchen floor from the backyard wondering who might be calling them on the landline. He didn’t even know Frank has one before they heard the annoying rings coming from the kitchen. That could be the social service worker, he thinks, looking for the source of the ringing. One of their neighbors could have seen them (well, not accidentally see, but sneak up on them) the day before in the backyard running like crazy loons under the summer rain and making out on the grass.  
It was just after they put Andy down for her afternoon nap and went to the terrace to cuddle in the hammock Gerard brought from Macondo and have a rare smoke when the rain started. Frank jumped to his feet and Gerard couldn’t even open his mouth to ask what the hell he was doing before Frank was on the grass jumping and laughing and catching drops of rain with his mouth. It was after he slipped on the slippery grass and fell backwards and didn’t open his eyes when Gerard had to run to him from under the safety of their terrace and shake his shoulders and scream his name in a panic. Frank opened his eyes then and tugged Gerard down and rolled them over and started kissing him making Gerard choke on the water and relief and anger bubbling inside his chest They were soaking wet in a second and Gerard had to chase Frank around the yard for a few minutes before he finally dragged him inside the house and to the guest bathroom where they had kinky and sloppy sex on the floor with pieces of clothes dangling off different parts of their bodies.  
Gerard clears his throat and presses the talk button. Nobody’s gonna tell him how to spend the afternoons with his husband.  
“Hello.”  
“ _Gerard?_ ” he hears the voice coming from between the static noises.  
“Jango?” His eyes go wide just from the thought of Jango going to the city to make a fucking phone call. It’s only been four months. He sent a postcard to the village but he never knew if they received it. “Jango, is that you?”  
“ _Yes, it’s me, Gerard._ ” There is more static noise. “ _You’re hard to catch, you know that?_ ”  
Gerard runs a hand through his hair. He looks out of the kitchen window and tries to catch Frank’s attention, but he and Mikey are too busy chasing Andy and Joshua across the yard and trying to save the jack russell pup they brought home recently from immediate slaughter while Ray and Christa are testing the new hammock Gerard and Frank presented them at the baby shower.  
Gerard shakes his head and laughs softly. “Yeah, sorry man, I should have found a way to tell you that I moved in with Frank. How did you find me?”  
“ _Well, dona Soledad keeps a journal where she registers all addresses from the postcards and I memorized the name of your husband. The rest was easy. By the way, dona Soledad says hi._ ”  
Gerard has to swallow the lump in his throat. “Tell her I miss her very much.”  
“ _I will. There is one thing I wanted to tell you, Gerard._ ”  
Gerard’s heart drops. “Is everything okay? Is the cat alright?”  
Jango laughs and it settles Gerard down a little. “ _We are fine. And the cat is great. We found out that she’d had a beautiful cub about five months ago. He started crawling out of the den and she even let me look at him once._ ”  
Gerard feels his eyes become glassy and prickle with tears. “That’s why her asshole boyfriend ran away!”  
“ _And that also means that she’d been carrying this cub when you saved her,_ ” Jango says in a low voice.  
Gerard didn’t catch the moment when the tears ran down his cheeks. “Well, I guess, lucky me!” He tries to disguise his trembling squeaky voice but fails miserably.  
“ _We called the cub Gerard,_ ” Jango continues. “ _I think his mother doesn’t mind._ ”  
Gerard rubs his wet cheeks and sniffs loudly. “Thank you. Thank you for…everything, Jango.”  
There is a brief pause and Gerard thinks the line broke, but then he hears Jango again. “ _Thank you too, Gerard. Please, come back sometime, we will be happy to see you. And bring your family with you._ ”  
“I will! We will. When our daughter is old enough to travel.” It still makes Gerard’s heart flutter a little every time he mentions her this way.  
“ _Great! Have to go! Good luck, Gerard!_ ”  
“Good bye, Jango!” Gerard hears the line goes silent and hangs up.  
For a brief moment, he loses the sense of reality. He can’t believe it really happened to him after three months of living with Frank and Andy who are so real and simple and everything in his world (well, there is Mikey, their parents and friends, but they all already had their place in his heart before), it all seems surreal and far away.  
He steps out of the kitchen still feeling a little lightheaded, but it’s okay. There are people who always bring him back to reality which is so much better than any dream he could ever have.

**End**

**Author's Note:**

> Other songs used in this work:  
> Lifehouse - I'm falling even more in love with you  
> Bush - Letting the cables sleep  
> Snow patrol - Open your eyes


End file.
